with a Transgender Female
I’m assuming you know by now that if you call a transsexual woman a “shemale”?
Sex - is probably the last thing you’ll get.
The term "shemale" was invented by the porn industry to promote sexual films including pre-operative transsexual women - trans women who've already changed most everything on their bod except their penis. To real transsexual women - being called a "shemale" is considered a derogatory term - the equivalent of calling her a whore or prostitute.
Sex with a Transsexual Woman
Sex with a transgender woman is not nearly as different from intimacy with a born-gal as some think.
First off - there's a lot of varied permutations of trans women.
For Additional Information on this subject?
You Might like these sections…
Meeting a Transgender Woman 101
Meet Your Transsexual Love Guide
What is Transsexual?
Transsexual Women 201
The People Attracted to Transsexuals
Women with Transsexuals
Finding True Love with a Transsexual Woman
The Different Types of Transsexual Women
There are essentially four core variations in pre-operative transgender attraction.
Alas, within these broad categories are an endless array of unique variations - some are combined within the same persona as a girl is going through a certain phase of changing gender expression or evolution. Alas, I'm not the only TS woman whose actually been all of these variations - at different milestones in my transgender journey.
The Fully Transitioned TS
The most common body-type straight guys are drawn to when it comes to TS women is those with complete female transition of body and face where everything is all girl - except the residual stick still down below.
Body changes a trans-girl can affect include hair removal, breast augmentation, facial feminization surgery, skin and body softening through an HRT regimen, Adam's Apple removal, hips and buttocks augmentation, longer hair or wigs / extensions, feminine manicure / pedicure - and of course: a lovely female wardrobe.
There's just a handful of features we can't change - our natural height plus the size of our hands and feat - those remain the ultimate tell-tale signs of a trans-woman except for those gals lucky enough to have been born extra petite.
Most guys into this representation of a TS are most drawn to a nearly flawless representation of a female body - even down to just a thong - where the surprise buried underneath creates the ultimate erotic combination.
Problem is - very few trans women can pull off that ultimate gender-fuck look. Takes a naturally smaller and feminine starting platform, years of work and lots of expensive surgeries and procedures.
Thus, most of us are a mixture of all that we are - and are not.
Some guys are attracted to naturally feminine appearing guys when it comes to trans attraction - AKA a "twink". The root attraction is usually within the skinny, flat-chested, usually physically weaker male structure.
Most twinks are smooth bodied when it comes to sexual adventures - many learned its what their partners often prefer. Others, not. Some will don a wig, panties and/or other feminine trim when it comes to sex play - not always.
The absolute favorite among guys into twinks are usually feminine, slender, smooth bodied males in their late teens or early twenties that are generally very submissive to their male partner when it comes to sex and respond erotically to being told what to do.
There's a lot of crossdressers in this world - from those who only change secretly and privately behind closed doors at home to those who create an active and visible second persona along side their male existence.
Obviously, one whose never left the house probably isn't going to be very passable or reliable when it would come to some form of dating or NSA fun. Also, some are unable to shave hair from their body / legs, etc. since their CD interests are closeted from the world around them.
Some guys really enjoy a connection with a confident and feminine presenting crossdresser
The DRAG Queens and Fem Boi's
Another option is DRAG Queens and Fem Boi's.
Some DRAG Queens adore straight guys sexually and aren't above using their created feminine presentation / persona to entice the guy they seek.
By classic definition, a prototypical DRAG Queen isn’t really a member of the transgender community. They’re more closely with the gay community - versus trans-world. Most DRAG Queen are gay guys that are simply too fabulous to remain a man “all the time”. Thus, some create female characters, costumes and persona’s for DRAG stage performances.
However…since some transsexuals also work as DRAG performers: it’s not so cut & dry.
The acid test for a DRAG Queen vs. a transgender is what we want to wear and present during intimacy.
A DRAG Queen? They’ll usually want to lose the get up and be a “guy” in a loving union. A trans-girl? She’ll want to remain feminine in appearance during love-making.
Fem Boi's is another option that's pretty much all about sex. These are gay guys primarily attracted to straight men who can offer some type of feminine feature or presentation to be appealing to a straight guy.
Gay guys with a large and feminine ass are the most common and successful in this regard. They'll sometimes share a bare booty photo and they're desire on places like Craigslist. Guys who are total tops who can't afford or locate a suitable TS female for fun will sometimes find replacement pleasure with a fem boi.
I had a dear gay male friend whose entire sex life was managed through his fem boi persona and on-line personal ads. He adored straight men - pleasing them orally & anally. Alas, a gay guy who isn't exactly feminine in body or facial-wise usually isn't going to draw a lot of straight-guy flies. Alas, he was once a DRAG performer thus he knew how to throw together decent feminine touches. Also, he had a quite large naturally feminine backside which I'm quite sure he promoted accordingly in his on-line ads.
A fem boi and twink are similar in that they're both feminine men - but twinks are by definition smaller framed and/or skinny: which isn't necessarily the case with a fem boi.
Amongst these core permutations of transgender women you'll find a variety of varied female features causing a ton of different possible trans-female types, including:
Body Modification Variations Among Transgender Women
There is a VERY wide variety among transgender women based upon where they are in the gender-change evolution process, their natural features and personal leanings.
Passability: Being highly passable as female for TS woman is a function of many things - and a very long and grueling process to achieve. It requires creating a feminine appearance and developing a style that causes her to not stand out as transgender. While some transgender women start off very feminine in their appearance from the onset - most don’t. Our voices are perhaps the most challenging aspect to make into a flawless presentation. Thus, becoming very passable is a long, expensive and grueling evolution.
Wigs & Extensions versus her real hair: Most guys prefer a TS woman whose hair is all her own. Alas, most trans-women would prefer a guy whose 6’3, with a nice physique, washboard abs and lots of income. Alas? We get - what we get. Few transsexual women are able to get by with just their own hair. For some? They must wear wigs 24/7 to appear most feminine. For others? That thick and healthy mane is derived from hair extensions. If that bothers you? You need to get over it - in a hurry!
Facial hair stubble: I can’t begin to describe the pain, cost and time associated with facial hair removal for most transsexual women. Electrolysis is a brutal process: comparable to having a bee sting you lip. Now, imagine that bee sting occurring for two hours straight, three days a week - for two years. And yes - you’re swollen from those stings each day after treatment. Even after completing a thorough run of electro - many transsexual women still have some residual facial hair stubble. It doesn’t show outwardly - which is why its not worth going back through the anguish of more electrolysis. However, when you kiss her passionately? You might feel it.
Body hair stubble: Years of HRT therapy and/or an orchiectomy or GRS plus a thorough shaving usually creates a very smooth body for a TS woman. However, even with all that - our body hair tends to grow back faster and more coarse than our born women counterparts. It’s not something we like or can help - just comes with the turf. If you’re girlfriend is a part-time cross dresser? Even complete shaving won’t sometimes fully remove the stubble - although this is usually only noticed if she’s pressed against the smoother skin of a born-female.
Breast Augmentation: Yeah, every trans woman and most of the people attracted to them tends to like it when they own a full pair of breasts. Many admirer’s distinguish a transsexual from a cross dresser by this feature alone although that's not very fair.
Our breast growth starts with a hormone replacement regimen which results in a certain amount of breast tissue growth comparable to pre-teen females. For some TS women - this growth from HRT is more pronounced - depending upon the genetics inherited from her mother and the intensity of the regimen she’s undergoing.
Most often, full time TS women use this HRT-induced platform to install breast implants that look ideally feminine. Although some TS stick with their HRT induced breasts - either because of limited financial means or personal preference.
Hips & Buttocks Augmentation: A very small handful of trans-women were born with a fairly natural feminine ass. However, those “big ass” images you see in porn on certain trans-women? Those are all man-made.
Body Softness: That outer layer of softness found on most women’s bodies is less prevalent with transsexual women - depending upon how long she’s been on testosterone blockers, had an orchiectomy (testicles removed) or GRS.
What varies from One Transsexual to Another when it comes to Sex?
Her Feelings about her penis when it comes to sexual relations: Transsexual women vary widely about how they feel about their penis - particularly when it comes to sexual relations. For some? They do everything possible to pretend it doesn’t exist. Thus, with such a gal - she won’t want you to look at it, touch it, etc. during sex. She pretends it never existed and would prefer you do that same.
Other girls are a bit more open and playful regarding their male appendage. They often call it their “clit”. If and when they’re aroused - they’ll say they’re “wet”. Some will refer to their ass as their pussy, boi-pussy, or boiussy, etc. You get the idea…they make the best of what they have going.
Lots of trans women gals can’t get or stay erect if they've been on intensive HRT and testosterone blockers for several years. That's a aside effect of such drugs. Their penis will also shrink from such programs.
Lots of guys naturally attracted to pre & non-op transsexual women absolutely love giving oral sex to their transsexual female partner. To those men - the imagery of staring up at a lovely female face and large breasts while having her appendage between this lips is overwhelmingly erotic and exciting.
We know this. However, if you fixate on it? It's a little weird.
95% of transsexual women identify as “bottom”. Most don't have any desire or willingness to be the top in an intimate union.
The Impact on Guys Who've Only Been with TS Escorts
Most know I’m a huge fan of guys first exploring their transgender fantasies with a paid escort. It's the best place to start to explore and release all that pent up trans desire that just won't fly with a tranny you hope to date. However…I discovered that guys can get too much experience in this regard - and lose sight of what relationship-type intimacy is all about.
Since an escort makes her mint doing exactly what you want - guys lose sight of the fact typical TS women usually aren't wired as openly with sexual activity.
Shemale Sex: The Exciting Oral Sex Paradox
For a lot of people attracted to transsexuals, the most exciting first fantasy is taking her orally while staring up at her breasts & a pretty female face. It’s the total visual & physical paradox.
The only challenge with these sorts of desires & leanings is when you obsess on them. Makes her feel like “anyone” could be there…she’s just an accoutrement to your fantasy.
She Wants a guy with a large penis
Some guys get put off by how quickly a trans girl will ask about the size of his endowment. A larger size means nothing in terms of true satisfaction – rather – it’s a visual stimulant. Lots of men are also drawn to particular physical features as visual stimulants. Large breasts, a certain size & shape of buttocks.
Considering the fact her only way to consummate sexual intercourse is through anal sex, a larger penis is not really going to make things better.
Other girls are bothered if their own endowment is larger than their sexual partner…it feels weird & some guys can’t stay aroused because they feel intimidated. “I just found it best to only sleep with guys I know are larger than my own”.
Introduction - from your hostess - "Dr. Renee"
The main reason most of you are at my home page, is in some manner tied to your sexual desires. Most of us girls dress more and more feminine, to make us feel more sexy. Why nobody wants to talk about the realities of "sex" is beyond me. Well actually - obviously - it's not! *Grin*
Fortunately for the reader, I've had some experience in the sex department. Unfortunately for Renee - it hasn't all been pleasant. I'm going to share what I feel will make yours better, based upon my "adventures" - and a few insights from some of my close girlfriends.
You may agree with some of my opinions - disagree with others. However, if you're relatively new to transgender related sex issues, you'll certainly walk away with some fresh perspectives.
Transgender Sex Basics
Wanna get naked with a t-girl? Sounds inviting, no? Before you drop your drawers and dive head first into t-sex, there are a few basic issues you'll want to be aware.
The first thing I'd suggest (if you haven't already done so), is that you review my analysis of the types of t-girls you'll likely encounter. It will give you a better grasp of some of the ideas & opinions I'm about to share: variations in transgender expression.
What's different about being with a TS?
Hmmmm: Let's see... soft, flowing hair; long smooth legs; full, kissable lips; ... wait a minute... what's that extra bulge at my panties?
Okay, you got me. ::))
I'm a t-girl - and quite proud of it. In fact, I'm as proud of the masculine bulge at my midsection, as I am my feminine demeanor - both are simply - who I am. All us girls vary in terms of if we wish to be considered females, transsexuals, males, t-girl's, etc. However, we all have one thing in common - we start with something extra between our thighs.
Even though I don't care for the term, unless you're dealing with a former SRS (Sexual Reassignment Surgery) candidate, the girl in your arms is most certainly a chick with a dick. Because of this anatomical variation, sex with this creature is certainly going to be a bit different from that of a genetic female. The variation in plumbing dictates a modified approach to pleasure - for every body. For some strange reason, a lot of newcomers seem to forget this little fact - until the last minute. They get all caught up in thinking about the thrill of finally getting to it - then get lost - on how to really provide any meaningful enjoyment after the fact.
When you first hold her closely, you will likely notice she feels different than a comparable GG. Her loins are usually thicker - and more powerful than her female counterpart of a similar height. If you've ever been intimate with a female bodybuilder, you'll know exactly what you're in for. If not, just expect a good, solid ride.
One thing I'd advise you to prepare for is a little razor burn from kissing. This will be particularly true if you meet a girl after she's been out a number of hours - and nature has begun to take it's course in facial hair growth. You might not see it beneath all that make up - but it's there - and you'll feel it if you kiss. The exception to this rule is girls who have undergone laser hair removal, electrolysis, or extensive hormone therapy.
Personally, as much as I absolutely love kissing during sex, I tend to be reluctant to do much of it as Renee. Why? The full lips you see in my photo's aren't all mine - a lot of it is make up artistry. By kissing, I smear the canvas - which doesn't make me feel as feminine - which in turn makes me not feel - as sexy - which in turn - oh, you get the picture! Ask your girl about her feelings on heavy kissing - before you pucker up.
If you're dealing with a girl that has breast enhancements, you'll likely have a hard time keeping her tits in her bra. Most girls are quite proud of this development and aren't shy about showing them off. However, if your t-friend does not have such augmentation, she might not feel as comfy removing her bra. The exception is the gay tg or DRAG Queen. Most of them are only too happy to get out of their female regalia, when it comes to sex.
Flat-chested women are often shy in this same manner. A lot of t-girls are sensitive about those features which do not look and feel feminine - and these feelings can be heightened at the moment of intimacy. Be sensitive to this emotion and you'll do best. A well timed compliment can work wonders here.
Top and Bottom
No, I'm not referring to bathing suits. Sexual tops are traditionally defined as the aggressor during intimacy. They’re also the one typically performing the act of intercourse. Bottoms are the more passive sexual partner – usually on the receiving end of the stick.
Very few trans-women consider themselves tops. Most are highly feminine and consider the traditionally yielding role of the female as an integral part of their womanly persona. Some are versatile - meaning they both give and receive - but this is most common only in the t-girl/t-girl sexual encounter. In fact, I've seen some tg's who are tops with other t-girls, but bottoms with masculine males. As a general rule amongst bi-sexual tg's, most are interested in receiving.
The one t-group that bucks this trend is the gay t-girl. In this group, you will find about half to be tops - assuming hormones have not affected her ability to achieve an erection. Don't ask me to explain why this is the case - I really don't know. I'm guessing it has something to do with how much easier it is to achieve sexual satisfaction on the top - and most gays I know understand how important satisfaction is to sexual pleasure.
Incidentally, it is not considered tactless to clarify this issue relatively early with a t-girl. Certainly before you go off to crawl between the sheets - but not until she's made it clear she has a desire to do so.
There are three types of safety you'll need to consider. First, would be the basic Freudian concern of "is somebody going to try and hurt you". The second issue is sexually transmitted diseases. The final safety matter has to do with your reputation - namely - indiscretion.
I never cease to be amazed by the lack of concern over bodily safety some male admirers will endure to be intimate with a t-girl. Certainly, it's an all time classic case of the little head thinking for the big head. ::)) Primarily, this relates to guys who are picking girls up off the street. There are just a lot of inherent risks with such encounters.
If you are hooking up with a non-working t-girl, then the safety factor usually becomes more her concern, than yours. She has fewer options for "protection", than a masculine male. A girl who would go off to be intimate with some strange guy is a fool in my book. Most would never call the police if the guy got out of line (for fear of exposure), and few consider what they would do in such a crisis. You'll need to address her concerns regarding bodily safety, if you expect her to seriously consider meeting you privately.
A lot of married admirers were already hitched before the AIDS epidemic went into full throttle. Many are the most careless in this regard than any other group. Sexually transmitted diseases are a reality in today's world. Please keep in mind the dangers of unprotected sexual activities.
It's really quite simple: "Don't do it!"
Many people attracted to tg's are concerned about indiscretion. They fret over the possibility of her telling someone about their little encounter. I have found this to be the least of your worries. If a girl is not "full time", she will most certainly be as much or more concerned about indiscretion than you will be. Why do you think she's not full time?
A full time professional girl is just that - a professional. She is interested in being paid for services rendered and being treated nicely. Take care of the latter, and you'll rarely have to worry about indiscretion.
Ironically, the most potentially troublesome girl is the full time TS that is not a professional. Sex with her is on equal footing from the start. If you are sincere, you couldn't ask for a better situation. However, if you are only playing a game, well - beware or her wrath - if ya break her heart!
T-Girl & Male Admirer Sex
How to get to Heaven without having to Die
Unfortunately for male admirer's, most tg's are not sexually attracted to masculine men. However, I've seen more than one who professed no such desire - end up doing it once or twice. Sometimes, they got a wild hair - or just met an admirer that did it for them at the right moment. Let's face it, everybody gets extra horny - now and then.
You catch the right girl, on the right night, at the right moment - and she'll do damn near anything. Timing has a lot to do with sexual desires. Ever seen a woman that wasn't the case? ::)) Remember - these guys are now girls - which means moods & maybe's - have become staples in their everyday vocabularies. Sucks, doesn't it? LOL
Some admirer's get a little pissed at the cynicism they receive from t-girls when out, or on-line. Where do you think this attitude came from, sweetie?
Here's a little reality check from a girl that's been doing the fem thing for a very long time: most admirer's are basically full of crap. They often talk about what they've fantasized about - in the same manner as what they actually desire. They'll talk about what they'll do - with no conscious concern on the difference in this statement - and reality. Most would never really date a t-girl, and amongst the few who would - about 1% would introduce them to a friend.
What does that feel like for a t-girl? The best way I can relate it: If you had a job - where you are asked to do a ton of work - but received no compensation or recognition. Ever had one of those? Not fun, was it?
Some of you I've corresponded with, continue your triage about not using a professional t-girl. Instead, you simply hone your skills - to shit on a girl who is totally sincere. Most of you just run around breaking hearts, without the first thought of how she might have felt. You will find some girls who are just out for the sex, but the lion's share require something else - to make intimacy special.
Most admirer's t-urges are spawned from having lusted over girls from on-line pornography, transsexual magazines, and XXX t-video's. It is one thing to look at such graphic representations and masturbate to mental images of you in the arms of this creature. It is quite another to realize this is a living, breathing, human being - with feelings and emotions just like any other girl. Sort of takes the edge off it for a second, doesn't it?
Intimacy has very little to do with how much - or how little - you are wearing. It has to do with how much of yourself is shared with someone else. The platform for a high level of intimacy is already in place: as both male admirers and their t-girl counterparts start with more common thread than first meets the eye. Both share a desire (or fetish, in real world terms) for a different brand of sexuality. Both can rarely share their unique desires with members of their daily clan. However, many male admirers forget there is a person beneath all that hair and make up. Bonding with this individual can make for much more pleasure than you could ever imagine!
The reason so many t-girls are attracted to one another versus male admirers runs much deeper than the lace and garters. It is a shared sense of camaraderie that is rarely enjoyed with a masculine man. It is a knowledge you are appreciated and understood on all levels - for who you are, where you've been, what you've learned in the process, and where you're going.
One of my favorite summations of this matter was written by the Lebanese poet, philosopher and artist - Kahlil Gibran. "Everyone can hear... but only the sensitive can understand". As ironic as it may sound, sensitivity is the key - to the best sex of your life! ((hugs))
I am a lucky t-girl. Renee is financially secure. I don't know how my sisters on more limited budgets afford all their stuff they must buy. Every different look is $200 in make up; every separate hot style is $300 worth of clothes, shoes, jewelry & trimmings - not to mention the basics. Never mind what that other guy in her life requires to look "presentable" - I just keep mine to pay the bills anyway! LOL
I'm going to put this as straight as I can, hon. You don't have to pay for the pleasure. You certainly don't need to show up at your date with the Hope Diamond (unless you come knocking on my door, of course - *grin*). However, you damn well better exhibit a little appreciation for all she goes through to look lovely and feminine. She has endured more humiliation from a tg-rude employee at Wal-Mart - than you'll likely taste all year.
the right girl for you
The most important question you must address is: Why do you want to do this in the first place? We all tend to do a lot of things in life without first considering our motivations.
If you don't know what you're doing sexually - you can be in for a big mess. Any girl - GG" or T - senses awkwardness just like "babies". Ever seen a person who doesn't know how hold an infant? The child gets irritated in a hurry. They start screaming and crying, and they move on to a person who knows how to make them feel all comfy.
Let me let you in on a little secret for you newcomers. Sexual satisfaction with a t-girl"- is different from GG's. It takes a little experience to be good at it. If you are not, it isn't going to be any fun for her - and likely won't be for you.
I know in a matter of seconds if I'm in the arms of an experienced lover - or a neophyte. Quite frankly, it isn't comforting to offer yourself to someone who doesn't know what they're doing. Why would I be motivated to want to teach someone I just met about sex? We're not 15 years old, hon.
For many of you the best option is to simply keep this whole thing a fantasy. It's easy, cheap, and not nearly as messy. LOL
This is particularly true if you would term yourself a cross dresser at heart. Why? Because if you're like most hidden girls - deep down inside - you are going to want to be the passive partner - and it's unlikely your new t-friend has much interest in relinquishing that role.
If any of the above scenario's apply to you - I'd still like to insist - as I did in my how to meet a t-girl section - you focus your initial sites on professional t-girls.
The Road to Heaven
Okay guys, I've been a little hard on you here. Still love me? I'll bet you couldn't wait to read this section...what a bummer, huh? LOL I had my motivations for being so straight forward. Did I just say straight?
First, as unbelievable as it may seem, I think sex is pretty special. As I'm sure you've guessed, I feel t-girls are extra special. Therefore, I don't want to see such a super special occasion wasted on someone who doesn't deserve it. If you're still reading, then my guess is you're more sincere than most. Now let's talk about the fun stuff.
quick points of order
I have written a lot of information on my web page - from the perspective of a masculine male admirer. In case you're not aware, I started my t-life in this role - and recall the good and bad all too well. Most guys are under the impression that since they have a male sex organ - they will automatically know what feels good to another individual with the same equipment. Problem is, they might know the feeling - but they often know zilch about how to deliver the goods.
During their first time with a t-girl, most guys are fixated with touching and tasting her penis. The unique combination of smooth skin, hairless scrotum, silky garments and the sex of a male is sometimes enough to make the whole event pleasurable for the guy.
It's nice that you can have so much fun doing so, but it often does little for her, after the first minute or so. Everyone likes to know they're desired, but when your focus is more of an obsession, it reduces the pleasure.
Also, if you've never had sex with a t-girl, do both of us a favor and don't be afraid to "ask questions" during the process. I know most of you can't stand the thought of stopping and asking directions. However, this is one piece of real estate where you can get lost in a hurry - regardless of how familiar the terrain appears at first glance.
the secret to great sex
Okay, boys - I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Having been in the role of both a guy and a gal in the sack over the course of my life, I've had the unique experience of living and enjoying both sides of the spectrum. There are a million things I could tell you that might help, but none so important as this: focus! What do I mean by focus? Simple. It doesn't matter if you are focusing on a romantic dinner, a hot kiss, or the best oral sex of your life - don't get distracted from the person or object in front of you.
As men, we are notorious for maintaining completely separate agendas to the one at hand. We take women to nice places in order "to get some". We buy them a gift - to get some. We smooze for hours - to get some. For once in your life - try a gift because she deserves it, a dinner because it would be nice, and smoozing - in order to really get to know her thoughts and feelings. Sex for women is typically a much deeper emotional experience than men. Getting her excited in her heart - will keep everything at a fever pitch in her panties. Pleasure doesn't always include an orgasm from your buddy between your thighs. Other parts of your body can enjoy similar heightened pleasure.
I'm not saying you should stop and offer a flower in the midst of heated sex. Most girls would agree men can actually get too gentle and astray at that moment.
Try to imagine a world where there was only one option - in everything you do. Picture a world where there is no "number two" on your list. Try living in that unique world when you are with her. It will result in better sex - I promise!
Maximizing Your Sexual Pleasure
I shall forever recall a who came up to me at SCC 2001 in a hallway and asked Are you Renee Reyes? Wow, you seem so different, I thought you were this big-time bi-sexual.
This person had not even talked with me once - and that was her impression. I'm less promiscuous than 90% of the t-girls I know. I suppose in fairness - I'd say I'm less promiscuous now.
Still, I felt I needed to include this information somewhere on my home page. Why? Because I believe sexual pleasure - is not a dirty act. Rather, I consider it a special gift - for all mankind.
the dirty deed
Finding intimate satisfaction as a t-girl - tends to require some new skill development. My objective is to provide you with a few tools and fresh ideas that might add pleasure to any union. Some of the data will seem overly unsophisticated to many of you. You whoremongers - will likely laugh at its simplicity. Since I don't know what experience each gal has had to date - I felt compelled to go overboard in explanations - rather than leave anybody hanging.
I never realized I would stir up such a fuss when I first added sex to my home page. Most comments were positive. I expected -and received - a few holier than thou letters. Those of you who know me personally are aware I don't shy away from controversy. I don't enjoy disagreeing with others - but I also don't enjoy keeping my thoughts hidden. In other words - I can't keep my mouth shut.
As I suspected, a lot of new girls were very curious about exploring this aspect of their femininity. However, it was obvious from letters that people desired more information on the details of making t-sex pleasurable.
In the other parts of this section, I've discussed the warnings, emotional issues, dangers, pro's and con's, ideal partner selection - the works. Here, I'm going to assume your mind is made up - and there's no turning back - you are going to try it.
Since I'm partial to providing advice to my sisters - my comments will be slanted towards their role in the matter. However, it doesn't take an overly bright "male admirer" to understand how to reverse positions - and get ideas on how to make his t-lover a bit more blissful as well.
It's difficult to provide any meaningful information on actual sex - without getting a tad bit crude. I'm not crude by nature - except when I reach that fever pitch - when just about anything will come out of my mouth. I'll try to cover this subject as exacting - as professionally - and as lady like - as Renee can.
Are you ready? Good! Now ditch the cotton underwear GF - let's get down to business!
I really doubt I need to bring this up - but I'd hate to leave any stone unturned. Absolute pleasure from sex is a function of many things - not the least of which is that you feel sexy. I know of no easier means to achieving this goal than wearing something that makes you feel hot. Try not to worry with what your lover prefers. As t-girls, we tend to face a myriad of challenges in looking highly feminine when we wear less & less. If you want to hide that belly - then wear that corset for the duration. Hate those hairy legs - then leave on the pantyhose - and cut away access to your friend. In other words, it's key that you like what YOU see in the mirror. Feeling sexy - is the ultimate aphrodisiac!
One thing you might want to consider is which wig you'll don for such fun. Rolling around in the sheets, sleeping on pillows, etc - is very hard on a wig. Such activity causes them to lose a great deal of their shape and body. I'd suggest you choose one exclusively for your wild woman activities - and let her - endure the heap of abuse from sexual explorations.
I keep separate wigs for performing, clubbing - and of course - my fun. I call mine Miss Thang - and I'm really glad she can't talk. LOL The best ones for such commotion are usually short and straight with no frills. Such wigs require little subsequent restyling - and don't get in the way of anything. Catch my drift?
lips that last
One thing sexual fun tends to trash in a hurry - is your lipstick. I love my lips looking feminine - makes me feel most sexy. However, between kissing and whatever - they tend to get trashed during sexual fun. In my new makeover section, you'll find my method for painting lips that will endure all but the most aggressive kissing. If this is important to you - you might try it.
next to godliness
There is nothing so disgusting (at least to Renee) than to get your head between a pair of legs - and feel like you just walked into a locker room - or worse! Buried in the confines of our clothing, our midsections often have little chance to air out prior to sexual activity. If you don't have a chance to shower prior to your fun, try visiting the ladies room and giving yourself a little sponge bath while adding a touch of your favorite fragrance down there. It really helps. I'd also suggest you ask your lover to follow a similar regimen - for both of your pleasure.
Ahem! Okay, we 'gotta carry this a bit further...
Most t-girls I know would classify themselves as bottoms" when it comes to sexual activity. Basically, they prefer to be on the receiving end of the stick. Why? Doing so puts them into the more exacting role of a female - and all which that implies. As a guy, most t-girls have never had to deal with the potential horrors from sexual activity inside their bodies. As a t-girl on the bottom- this changes in a hurry.
Since us gals don't have a vagina, we tend to utilize the next best thing - our anus. I'll discuss in greater detail how to derive pleasure from this "organ" in the sections that follow. Here, we are discussing cleanliness.
If you have plans for sexual fun in this department, I'd suggest the following regimen. First, before going out - give yourself an enema of soapy water to help cleanse this area. It's a healthy habit - and will make you feel more confident during the big moment. Second, try to stick to a liquid diet of juices and water for the balance of your day. You'll get a tad bit thinner & there's no need to add fuel to the fire...
Finally, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER allow anything "in there" that isn't covered by a condom!!!! Your insides are made up of fragile tissues - which can be easily torn and subsequently infected by a host of diseases. No matter how womanly you think it might feel to have some special person let loose in your innards - take it from real women - it ain't fun!!
SEX vs SEXUALITY Discussion
If and when you move to sexual intercourse with another t-girl or a masculine male, you are crossing a bridge that might leave you feeling stranded in the middle of a long river of gay / vs bi /vs whatever.
If you are serious about being on the receiving end of anal sex, then hop on over to my dirty deed section upon wrapping up here for the details of how to make your first - and every time - more pleasurable.
sugar & spice - and bitching is nice
Some people seek sex with a t-girl totally for the erotic nature of the situation. Many such people enjoy playing some sort of role playing games to heighten the intensity of the situation - including games of domination and submission.
T-girls, as a group, are probably more into role playing games than most. Many have already spent a lot of years - "imagining" themselves as women - so they tend to be fairly adept at being able to fantasize all sorts of situations.
I've enjoyed my fair share of alternative sex. There was a time I defined myself as Try-Sexual - I'd try almost anything once. Now I'm forced to admit there is very little - I have not tried.
One primary secret to success in this department is that all parties must feel safe and comfortable with their playmates. Neophytes in the domination category are easy to spot. They often run ads insisting others will be their slave. Most such individuals pursue this vista to cover some personal feeling of inadequacy. They often feel that when another person is totally under their control, they will be in a position to hide any shortcomings. This is not what D & S play is all about!
I can't profess to be an expert in this area - but I used to perform in a club with others who made it part of their daily lifestyles.
D & S is about giving up control - not taking it.
Nothing is more enjoyable than safely experiencing a long felt fantasy with the ideal lover. No experience is so horrifying as realizing you are at the mercy of a psychopath.
Neophytes in the dom category tend to imagine others as being Choose your playmates wisely!!
In case you are new to the games of domination and submission, this whole process has very little to do with pain or suffering but rather - power. The process of giving up control to another person can be a very intimate process.
I like it for a variety of reasons but I rarely partake. First, I just love the clothes and accessories inherent to the lifestyle. Second,
For the domme, the pleasure is achieved by
Likewise, the submissive (or bottom)
People who are really into this scene tend to have their own little pet peeves which are far beyond the scope of this summary.
The key to bliss is trust, period. Unfortunately, trust is one of those things you earn and garner over time so this is not an avenue I'd pursue early in any intimate relationship.
The whole situation starts off in a paradox that requires absolute trust for absolute pleasure. First, the only way you will really be able to enjoy this process both inwardly (and outwardly) is by giving up absolute control of what you will and won't do to another person. When you know this person cares for you, is watching out for your interests regardless of the intensity of what is going on around you, etc. you can reap a sense of total release that is rarely achieved xxx. HOWEVER,
In general, the best dominants started as sub missives. Why? One simply cannot learn how to dispense the unique balance between pleasure and pain, humiliation and xxx, without having been there first.
Sexual pleasure is perhaps the supreme gift God provided us meager humans. You should treat it as any gift - with appreciation. Early in my tranz-sexual explorations, I found I was a little too preoccupied with being a good lover - versus loving good. In other words, I discovered that being good at sex - is not the same as enjoying it. I'd suggest you not to repeat my "error".
If you've got a really wild fantasy - try dressing up your masturbation activities while alone to explore these ideas. It's quicker, safer - and a lot less messy. If you decide to add "another" to your explorations - do so - out of love and compassion for that person. It makes for the best sex you'll ever have!
Good Luck & ((hugs))