Common Reasons We Feel a Strong Need to Change Genders
Along with the mental condition that causes us to need to manifest an alternative gender, there’s a number of social & personal influences that tend to make us want to go further.
If you’ve already spent years crossdressing and going out in public? It’s not uncommon to feel a strong desire to transition, by default.
I call this “transitionitis”.
I hate “removing” the girl
A common motivating factor is the despair following removing your female get-up & transforming back to your male self. Every part-time trans-girl knows and hates this moment. Sometimes makes you want to cry, no? Having to take her off can be so depressing - don’t want the fairy tale to end. It’s only natural you would consider keeping this imagery alive forever.
Resolving this frustration is akin to a person learning to love their body if overweight. You must learn to look past the outward image and see the girl beneath your reflection 24/7. Make no mistake: this is a valuable life skill, regardless - particularly if you go further with transition since you’ll face conditions that make you feel “ugly”.
Learning to adore yourself: just the way you are - is one of life’s greatest lessons.
I Want to be Prettier
Another common trap is wanting to go further because we want to be with gender “prettier”.
Early on, I never worried a great deal over trying to look extra pretty - accepted my lot amongst t-girl mediocrity and just tried enjoying spending more time as a girl. Later, I found myself scrutinizing every flaw - and hating it. I even got sensitive to even minor comments regarding my beauty - or lack thereof.
Being pretty is a trap: there’s no way to “win”. Most women obsessed with beauty become ugly on the inside. My suggestion? Focus on trying to become a beautiful female soul - the sort of caring, good listener every man or woman loves to be around.
In the end?
That will make you prettier than your wildest dreams.
I Want Real Breasts!
Okay, I’m completely with you on this one. There’s not a part-time trans girl on the planet that doesn’t dream of having her own full-sized breasts: goes with the turf: clothes fit better, cleavage is easy to achieve and it's totally female.
I became very skilled at providing the illusion of C-Cups from zero flesh just by shading & using tape. Adding breasts is a monumental life change. If and when you successfully transition to full-time - you’ll take down this vision.
Trans-community Pecking Order
Make no mistake, there’s an unwritten code that causes some transsexuals to feel above part-time girls. You’ll hear: “Oh, she’s just a crossdresser.” You’ll also sometimes hear a transsexual woman say: “I can’t stand cross dressers”.
Thus, it’s only natural you might want to evolve beyond this reduced imagery.
Part of the negative comments are rooted in a transsexual’s reality.
Let me explain…
When a cross dresser represents herself to the world as “transgender” and proceeds to post risqué photos on-line - those actions impact friends or work associates of full-time transsexual women. Its similar to how some deep-south, trailer-trash diva affects the image of other rural southern folk when she appears on Jerry Springer with a woven tale of being in love with her mom’s boyfriend. People become quick to make assumptions - particularly if they already hold a questionable opinion of a particular group.
Another problem a TS woman has with becoming close friends with a part-time girl is they rarely “pass” quite as well as they think they do. Also, trans-women tend to get read ten-times more quickly - when more than two congregate. Thus, this same crossdresser might go unnoticed while shopping but to ask a TS woman to join you - at her favorite haunts where she’s only known as a woman? That’s an unfair request. It takes a long time to get comfortably established socially in a new gender.
There is no “pecking order”. Only happiness…or a lack thereof. If you discovered a joyful life as a part-time gal and keeping the man in your life: don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
You already won the game!
Being a Girl is all I think about. Thus, I must be a Transsexual, right?
Lots of gals confuse the fun of femme-time and a sense of passion combined with GID issues to equate with full-blown transsexuality. It's easy to assume if you enjoy doing something each & every day...there must be more to it. Right?
Sometimes, it’s easy to get so immersed in the transgender culture that we can’t help but think we’re TS. We live, sleep and breathe being transgendered. When we’re not at work? We’re online, reading TG-related posts. When we’re not with family members? We’re dressing up and taking pictures of ourselves.
Eventually we can reach a point where all our fun times are en-femme. All of our not-so-fun times like work? Are when we’re in boy mode. Thus, it's inherently logical to feel we’re supposed to be female, because we’re happiest when we’re dressed, or at least thinking of being dressed. Work isn’t fun and family means responsibility, so we equate those periods with male misery.
The realities of transition are especially brutal and lonely. Most of those extra fun nights you enjoyed while cross dressing? They won’t happen again for a very long time.
Know if you go down this path - it won’t be nearly as “fun”.
I’m Not Getting any Younger
Are you hearing the clock on your wall more loudly these days? Damnit! When the alarm goes off each AM - does the radio announcer whisper: "The sooner you start hormone replacement therapy - the better chance you'll have of looking like a real female".
I understand. Getting old is not for sissies.
It seems each month brings about some change in your femme condition of the " non-positive variety”...less smooth skin, knees sore from a night of dancing, puffy eyes for no good reason...shit!
What's going wrong?
It's that damn clock in the background, isn't it? The second hands are sounding like chimes on the hour.
Yep, we’re getting older.
Getting older and potentially missing out on any chance of ever looking decent as a full-time female is often a breaking point that pushes some girls to hurry a decision to transition. There’s also what I call the “casket dilemma” - the image of the person you want to see in that box when your days are done.
I constantly beat myself up over all the time I lost getting nothing done when my life disintegrated just after my transition. I finally arrived at a helpful insight following the untimely death and murder of one of my closest friends from childhood - we never know when our time will be up. Thus, for all intents and purposes? We’re going to live forever - since forever is only as long as we actually have.
If you must transition? Make sure you have a viable economic plans and aren’t motivated by visions of “beauty” (they rarely work out) - then, get to it.
However, if you’re still not sure?
Give yourself more time to try and find a joyful existence sharing genders.
Additional chapters in This Section include:
MTF Transition Success: Making the Biggest Decision of your Life
MTF Transition - Deciding to do it or Not
A Gender Transition: Final Checklist
Common Reasons We Feel Compelled to Change Genders
How Long Does it Take to Successfully Transition?
Hope for Anyone: What I looked like before transition
Common Mistakes of Beginning Transsexual Women
Defining a Successful MTF Transition
Where to Find a Doctor to Prescribe Hormone Replacement Therapy
Preparing to Start a Gender Transition
The Final Analysis on Transition