ReneeReyes.com

Atlanta's Foremost Transgender Woman

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ReneeReyes.com

Atlanta's Foremost Transgender Woman

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Are you prepared to start your gender transition?



The primary goal of passing as a crossdresser is going unnoticed - being able to enjoy your time as a girl without others being aware you’re transgender. I spent about 70% of my time as a woman before transition and thought I was totally ready for transition.

I wasn’t.

Passing as a crossdresser is not the same as functioning seamlessly as a transsexual woman. Are you getting a bank loan for a new house in your dress? Are you closing a big new client at work while en-femme? Are you attending your family reunion in full makeup?

My biggest mistakes with not being fully prepared for transition? There were
four - I’ll share here - as well as what I would have done differently. In other words? I don’t want you to repeat my mistakes.

Fair enough?

Additional chapters in This Section include:

MTF Transition Success: Making the Biggest Decision of your Life
MTF Transition - Detailed Guide
MTF Transition - Deciding to do it or Not
A Gender Transition: Final Checklist
Transgender Therapists Atlanta
Common Reasons We Feel Compelled to Change Genders
How Long Does it Take to Successfully Transition?
Hope for Anyone: What I looked like before transition
Common Mistakes of Beginning Transsexual Women
Defining a Successful MTF Transition
Where to Find a Doctor to Prescribe Hormone Replacement Therapy
Hormone Therapy MTF Transsexuals
Preparing to Start a Gender Transition
The Final Analysis on Transition


Embracing how long it would take



Functioning seamlessly as a woman, getting past all the local drama associated with your transition, becoming totally confident with your new self in all circumstances, establishing a new and healthy non-trans social sphere? These things take a
long time - much longer than we would think.

The first big hurdle is getting past your transition being newsworthy to old friends and family. Often, when we first announce our intentions or go full-time - the event is “headlines” amongst past associations. Like all sensational stuff, it just takes time for the story to go from page A-1…to D-37. Essentially, it requires that
everybody is now aware of it, at least a few friends meet you in your new gender - report back you look good and seem happy. You can make this process go smoother if you steer clear of creating drama in your new life - don’t engage anyone who makes snide comments early-on: just let it. This too, shall pass.

The other part that can make time seem to move more slowly is a sense of loneliness and isolation that’s common for trans-women. My mistake was thinking I could find solace in trans culture and friends as I did while a crossdresser. There really is no healthy “trans life” following transition. Most girls that live
that way are doing so because they’ve yet to build a consequential life as a woman. I also made that mistake - don’t want you to repeat it.

It takes time to find and develop sincere close associations. I want you to invest that effort into real-time female friends that live nearby. Reduce contact with on-line trans friends. The former will enrich your life. The latter is often a source for self-perpetuating victimology and negative impulses.

Not first finishing electrolysis



I mention this repeatedly - and I’m going to keep harping about it. Why? Because almost ever trans-woman fails to get
this completed before going full-time - and regrets that oversight. I jumped to heavy laser - figuring that would do the tick. It did…temporarily.

It’s a brutal, painful and expensive process. Get it complete
before you go full-time and your journey will be much easier!

Not spending enough femme time doing mundane tasks and interactions



The most overwhelming tasks following transition are often the simplest. I mistakenly used most of my crossdressed hours with trans friends + going to dinner and having fun.

If you want to be
ready?
First Goals of Transition

You need to constantly go shopping, interacting and living as a girl leading up to your big change. I’m not talking socially: I’m talking mundane tasks. The key here is to gain more confidence with your demeanor, your voice and your personal style.

It's the little things that make the big difference!

Not establishing a viable economic plan for a gender transition



Successfully changing a gender is very expensive.

Just establishing an age and event appropriate wardrobe for all seasons is insanely costly - never mind the surgical investments for transition or the increased “chick costs” - like skin care and hair maintenance.

All this takes money - and
lots of it. My mistake was thinking my newest deal was going to work out smoothly and fully fund these important changes. I underestimated the overwhelming emotional toll of transition - and its impact on my work productivity. The most successful economic transitions I witnessed were with girls that first saved for their changes and stayed in their present career - dealing with all the snide comments from old comrades.

Most of us would prefer the Cinderella approach - a fresh new start in our new gender where nobody
knew the old male self. Alas, Cinderella was a fairytale. It takes a very long time to achieve that look and confidence we dream about.

Be realistic and courageous - and your chances for success improve dramatically.



Transition Guide for Transsexual Women



Ready to go full-time? Already full-time but struggling a bit? These section were written
just for you. Here you'll find everything from how to choose the right new female name to tips with surgical enhancements.


I always planned to create a comprehensive guide for new trans-girls exploring a gender transition. Alas, like many plans, this project stayed on the back burner as I struggled with pressing issues in my newly transitioned life.

These tips are what I consider to be most important insights I gained from my own transition experiences and those of the ten other transsexual women I mentored through transition. In others words? Its what I
wished I had known before I started.

It
doesn’t include details about legally changing your name or social security card - but it does offer advice on choosing the best name.

There are a handful of
awesome sites offering detailed information on all aspects of gender transition.

Following is a list of links I consider to be the VERY best for gals contemplating full-time transition or those looking to improve their lot:

Andrea James / TS Roadmap - Nobody does more to help gals with transition than Andrea. Her site is a working bible for gals trying to navigate transition. The bottom line? If you've got a transition question? Her site has the answer: period
Annie Richards / Second Type Almost equally impressive is Annie Richards site aka Second Type - a very detailed guide for transition details f you're planning to transition or searching for questions regarding hormone regimens, etc - there's not a better place to begin your journey than Anne's site: period!
Anne Lawrence - If you're planning to transition or searching for questions regarding hormone regimens, etc - there's not a better place to begin your journey than Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site.
Lynn Conway - Lynn was my personal inspiration to intermingle my life before transition into my new existence. Her site's the most helpful & informative personal page of any transsexual on the planet.


Secrets to a More Successful Gender Transition

Want to be more successful with transition? Here you’ll find hodgepodge of essential tips.

Your first major goal: stealth



A lot of gals - like me, were too wrapped up in how to become prettier. However, until you achieve
stealth - in your style & presentation, your life’s going to remain kind of ugly no matter how pretty you look. Thus, no matter how many procedures or steps you undertake to become prettier - you'll still feel ugly. By achieving stealth you’ll be able to quit being a trans-woman - and evolve to a woman...that also happens to be transgender.
Trans Confidence


Of course, certain FFS & body augmentation improves our feminine presentation - which enhances stealth. Breast augmentation is a classic example. However: know this. The prettier you become...the more closely you'll be examined: people admire beauty. A gal whose drop-dead gorgeous faces far more scrutiny than a chick like me.


Hope it helps!

How do we more quickly achieve stealth?

It takes four steps - in congruence:
  • Confidence. Not thinking about everything you must do to be female - just being her.
  • Appropriate fashion - age appropriate, event appropriate, season appropriate…in no other way do we stand out more quickly as trans than not learning the rules of appropriate fashion and personal styling.
  • Lots of voice practice - fear over using our voice is the most debilitating aspect for most new trans girls. Certainly was for me! It was actually quite amazing how long I could carry a conversation like a mime - with just facial and hand gestures. The worst byproduct of this approach? I missed out on engaging lots of potential new friends. Make voice practice a big early priority.
  • Finish electrolysis. Electrolysis is so very painful, takes such a long time, creates ugly swelling, is expensive, and it’s the slowest moving aspect of transition. However, it completely resolves those tell-tale facial shades and allows us to go out with little or no make up. I put it off - tried to sidestep it with laser. Temporary fixes are just that. Get ‘er done, GF!
  • Out of all of these?

Confidence is the most powerful - which is a function of experience - which is also a function of time. Thus, get off your computer, get out of the house…and start interacting with more people soon! ((hugs))

Other Important Tips for a Successful Gender Transition



Be Patient with Old Friends - Work hard to maintain your previous lifelong connections. Give them a break and don’t take it so personal when they slip and call you “he”. You need the deep roots that only occur from lifelong associations to survive the disassociation of a new gender.

Keep Your Day Job - Perhaps the biggest mistake we tend to make is trying to create a whole new career just as we start our new gender. More gals failed with transition because of financial devastation than any other reason.

Make Close Female Friends - There’s an old adage: “Men need women…and women need women”. You can’t survive being a woman without close female friends. I’m not talking about your trans-sisters: I’m talking born-women. They’re the ultimate source for refining your new self. Listen to their fashion and hair advice. Watch how they interact. Learn to duplicate their natural warmth. When in Rome? Do as the Romans do!

Move beyond Tranny “News” - It’s hard enough for old friends & family to deal with our new existence. If all we ever talk about is transgender issues & stories? It’s overwhelming. Have you ever been around someone who just bought a new beach house or started a new relationship….and that’s all they talk about? Gets old, doesn’t it? Guess what? Our inner circle gets just as sick of hearing about crap like how the American Indians once embraced transgenders as “two spirits” - and every other anecdotal insight we love to chatter. Do yourself a favor - don’t define your life by being transgender.