Making Love work between two Transgender Women
The fact so many post-transition transsexual women identify as lesbian - coupled with challenges in finding a typical lesbian partner - is one reason lots of transgender women explore love with another transsexual women.
This path is more direct - they always felt another transsexual was their ideal match: they’re just wired this way.
When well-matched, these connections continue to be some of the healthiest and long-lasting you’ll discover in trans-world.
However, they’re not without challenges, including:
Common Challenges for Transsexual Women Dating other Transgender Women
Where You’re at with Transition
The most common barrier to potential trans-trans unions is the difference of where each girl is at in her trans-evolution.
Lots of trans-lesbian type newer gals - just having started hormones and feeling quite feminine - will reach out / hit upon much more established transsexual women. That attention is often not returned - regardless of potential physical attraction.
The reason is simple: going through and finishing transition is one of the most brutal aspects of being transsexual. The last thing most any trans-woman wants is relive that journey - even through someone else.
This “where your at” barrier continues with other manifestations, as well. It’s perhaps the most challenging aspect of finding a trans-trans connection beyond physical and chemistry attraction.
“Look at me, Look at me…take my Picture Please”
What almost never works is a newer gal still in the “look at me, look at me…take my picture” phase we all go through trying to match with a trans-woman now living her life where being trans is a minuscule part of her existence. Such a connection isn’t fair for either party. That early phase of constant attention and recognition of feminine accomplishments is a fun phase most girls need and deserve during their gender evolution. It’s part of a healthy childhood!
However, to a gal already past that? It’s often irritating.
Mentor vs. Life Partner
Along the same vein are challenges associated with one trans partner ending up in the role of mentor vs. equal partner. If this connection occurs between a more established gal with a newly full-time trans-woman - the issues can be doubly challenging as they’ll sometimes endure meltdowns over the more novice partner having just been read.
Any relationship where one partner is cast in a more parental role - be it through guidance, money-management, appropriate fashion or femme skills - tends to create a source of conflict and results in a less fulfilling connection.
Another common challenge?
Some transsexual women consider their activities and ongoing role in transgender community issues an important part of their identity and future. Others? Prefer a more stealthy, less trans-based personal existence. A huge variation here is often a big source for loving disconnect.
Job, Career and Finances
As with any relationship, a consequential disparity between financial resources, income and credit rating can be a source of disconnect. We all know a gender transition usually devastates personal finances. However, the most important financial issue in relationships is sticking to agreed upon savings and spending plans.
Also, if one partner’s financial success makes the other feel inadequate? That can be a big challenge.
Sharing Roles and Accolades
Regardless of calendar age, we're younger as women. Also, regardless if society deems one woman “prettier” than another - every gal goes through a phase she needs and deserves some affirmation regarding her female beauty.
It's difficult to make this work until both gals are past the intensive need for beauty affirmation. If not? Two gals are often competing over the same piece of emotional real estate.
One of the most surprising observations I discovered from interviews with long-standing trans-trans connections was a lack of ongoing sexual satisfaction.
To some? This wasn’t a surprising outcome. We’re often hyper vigilant to not sexualize transsexuality. With that much verbal and mental affirmation, it's only natural the brain would respond by reducing its important and role in a loving union.
I suspect education, ideas & inspiration for improving sex lives of transgender women will be a topic of articles in the future. For now? Embracing that a healthy, ongoing sex life is important to a long term union plus letting go of inhibitions, being comfortable with whatever roles & fantasies work for your sexual psyche - is probably the best prescription.
Chapters Includes in This Section include:
Finding Love as a Transsexual Woman
Essential Considerations for Transsexual Love
Cleaning Up Your Act Before Starting on a Love Journey
Early Stage Gender Transition and Love
Sorting Out Your Sexual Orientation as a TS Woman
Dating and Loving a Man - for Transsexual Women
The Secret to Finding the Perfect Man for Marriage - for TS Women
Lesbian Females with Transsexuals
Trans Lesbians: Love Between Two Transsexual Women
Transsexual Women that Love and Date Straight Females
Post Operative Transsexual Love