The first question most trans-girls hear from male admirers is typically: "Are you a TV or TS?" That's actually a pretty fair question - even though we usually hate the comparison.
People often define a TV (Transvestite) is a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing and presenting himself in a feminine manner on a part-time basis. A TS (Transsexual) is usually defined as "a woman trapped in a man's body". A TS often plans to become a woman both in daily lifestyle, and anatomically.
Most admirers classify girls with breast growth as transsexuals - and girls without such augmentation as TV's. This might be accurate in the mirror, but as you'll learn - these two categories are just the tip of the iceberg. There are actually dozens of types of transgender women.
It's important to note that every girl is an individual. Like admirer's - rarely do you find a trans-girl that just fits into one single category. They often belong to several. However, most will identify with one group more than any other.
This section was written from the slant of admirers hoping to find the right t-girl for them.
Three Decades of Perspective
Public acceptance of transgenderism came a long way in the past decade. Only 10 years ago, when I first started going out in earnest, most the girls I saw were DRAG queens - gay men - dressed as women. DRAG is female impersonation: not transgenderism. During the old days - twenty years bad? If you were a transgender gal, (who didn't go through the process of breast enhancement and collagen-filled lips) a lot of the gays harassed you: suggesting - “get out of the dress", and accept the fact you were just using it as a crutch for actually being gay.
Part-time crossdressers weren't the only t-gals facing this discrimination. It was much more difficult for full time gals just starting transitioning to get any type of meaningful jobs. Those with "below average" education skills almost never found work. I knew many that walked the street's as prostitutes.
Today, a TS can find work just about anywhere, and there are even laws to protect them from sexual discrimination in some states. Tg's are usually accepted for whatever brand of sexuality they feel is right for them. In a t-friendly town like Atlanta, nobody usually hassles an average skilled transvestite out shopping.
This growing acceptance does not always equate to inner balance when it comes to sexual orientation. This is why you'll still find a lot of transsexuals that associate most closely with the gay community. In general, gays have been more accepting of our lifestyle than any other group.
Initially admirers were thought to be guys - who were really closeted or inhibited gay or bisexual. People considered their interest in t-girls as a step to exploring their gay or bi-sexuality. We've already learned there is a bit more to that equation. Likewise, there is a lot more types of t-girls than just a TV or a TS.
Types of Transgender Women
To begin to understand the psyche of a t-girl, you must first gain a better understanding of the basic types that exist. Beyond the fact they are or were once men born with a strong association to an inner feminine reality - the similarities in terms of their desire to spend any time with you - pretty much stops right there. The change occurs with their own sense of sexuality, their sexual orientation, and where they are going with the whole process.
One thing you'll quickly discern is these girls are not air heads They tend to have very high IQ's. The average person who goes through with a sex change operation is about three sig above the mean - or about 145 IQ. The average TV is about one sig above the mean. This high level of intelligence often equates typically equates to a fun person - with a very mischievous mind. ::))
Following is a basic snapshot of the transgender landscape:
The Early Stage Transgender Girl
Regardless of whether the early stage girl will remain a crossdresser or become a full blown transsexual, she typically has one common trait - pent up sexual fantasies. She usually has a desire to both express and share them - with someone else. From a sheer passion perspective, these girls are just dying to explore. Unfortunately, like most virgins, they're not always good at it.
She is also the most likely to get sexually aroused by simply dressing en fem. Although a t-girl who has been doing it a good while usually feels sexy when dressed, she rarely gets aroused by the process.
Pro's & Con's: Pro's: Often very aggressive sexually. You can catch a rising star - everybody started somewhere. They are the most open to finding new "friends". Con's: Usually not very passable. (I say usually, because there are rare girls who look awesome from the start). Many aren't smooth bodied. Often haven't learned the difference between fantasy and reality - example: that some thoughts are far better to remain fantasy - and no reality experience will match up to them.
Ideal Admirer Match: A male Eroticism lover not turned off by their lack of skill in femininity - or another t-girl in the same situation.
The Heterosexual Transvestite
This is the largest and most common group of t-girls. They often share the same pent up passion as the early stager, but for different reasons. Typically, they are not able to enjoy their fem side with their female spouse or significant other. The married ones have the most to lose in the event of indiscretion, and are much more careful than their single counterparts.
Most are only attracted to women, and would consider themselves quasi lesbian, when it comes to their sexual feelings while dressed. In fact, if you peeked into their personal inventory of "XXX movies" - you would likely find an inordinate number of lesbian flicks.
Pro's & Con's: They have usually spent a lot more time thinking about their sexuality than you have. To attempt to change their minds can be both an irritation - and an insult. I'm not saying they don't appreciate compliments - most TV's do. However, more blatant sexual contact to them feels about the same as another masculine guy coming up and grabbing your ass - it's disgusting and repulsive. Most can't be smooth bodied due to lifestyle considerations.
Ideal Admirer Match: Their own wife. A woman attracted to tg's.
The Experienced Transgender Girl
This individual has a good grasp of being transgendered, but has no plans on going further with the process. They usually look pretty good because they've been doing the fem thing for many years. I classify them really as a subset of other groups, but you'll notice a difference with them than other non full-time t-girls in their category due to their comfort & style with their transgenderism.
Pro's & Con's: Open to most every sexual adventure that fits within their orientation. However, they are smarter about who and how they'll explore. Tend to be a lot of fun. Tend to wear hot clothing, because the whole thing is only part time to them. Not on hormones - so fully functional yet feminine. No breast augmentation. Some stay smooth bodied, some don't. In demand, difficult to land. Experience can work against you, they've heard it all.
Ideal Admirer Match: Another experienced t-girl, Eroticism or Eroticism Plus Male types. Couples - really just depends on her sexual orientation.
The Tri-sexual Transgender Girl
By definition, these girls are attracted to all sexes, but the intensity for each such group, varies from girl to girl. They are typically very clear on their desire for attraction to different sexual groups - and it isn't likely you are going to change their minds on this subject - no matter how hard you might desire or even try. Their feminine appearance varies a lot by their experience and daily lifestyle demands.
Pro's & Con's: Open to most every sexual adventure. Don't forget to bring the rubbers! LOL
Ideal Admirer Match: Bisexual couples + pretty much anyone with passion. *Grin*
The Traditional Transsexual
The traditional TS is the classic "woman trapped in a man's body" - who has faced this demon, and is taking steps to correct nature's little mistake. They are most likely to be interested in a relationship, but they are also going exactly where most admirers don't want them to end up - a total woman. I had a beautiful TS GF who was paid $100,000 to delay her full scale operation for five years by an admirer. Of the friends I've had that have had a full sex change, I've watched as the largest percentage of the men who were interested in them - literally vanished once the "prize" was gone.
Pro's & Con's Usually a little hardened to strangers - from putting up with so much bullshit over the years. Before you bitch about this trait, stop and ask yourself: "What got them this way?" Usually very feminine and attractive. Smooth bodied and soft from hormone therapy. Many have breast augmentation. Sometimes not functional due to hormones. Often not interested in much sexual attention being given to their penis.
Ideal Admirer Match: Lesbian woman. Eroticism Plus males.
The Gay Transsexual
The gay TS differs from the traditional TS in that they will often be on hormones and get breast augmentation, but they have no intention of going all the way with the process. Most of the girls you see in magazines, working as prostitutes in the clubs, or starring in the ts porno movies come from this category. From a relationship standpoint, they consider themselves gay - and although some like to play around with straights - they usually expect them to pay for the fun.
Pro's & Con's: Not as picky about sexual companions as bi, tri, or straight t-girls. They typically want a man - period. As a group - they are the most versatile in terms of who is a top or bottom. They are selective - because they are attractive and can choose. Smooth bodied. Often have breast augmentation. Usually don't take enough hormones to be non functional - or utilize only those which have little effect in this department.
Ideal Admirer Match: Sexually, they match with just about everybody. They are going to want a guy comfortable with a gay lifestyle for anything long term.
The DRAG Queen
The DRAG queen, from a classic definition, is a gay guy DRessed As a Girl. Compared to other non full time t-girls, many are the best at presenting themselves as a women in the world. Why? They have already come out of the closet as being gay. Dressing as a woman is no big deal to them.
Pro's & Con's: The difference between the traditional tg and the drag queen, is that the queen is usually not interested in being en fem, beyond going out and having fun or performing. This frustrates some admirer's. Many don't shave as they don't wish to lose that masculine trait (except those that perform regularly). Some are the most skilled crossdressers in the world.
Ideal Admirer Match: The traditional admirer who is actually interested in a gay relationship. Latent crossdressers that are bi-sexual.
Additional Chapters included in This Section Include:
Desirability of Transsexual Women
Transgenderdate: Factors Affecting Trans Desirability
Why Transsexuals Get GRS
The Most Balanced and Happy TS Women
Common Transgender Personalities
What is it like to be transsexual?