The Six Worst Things to Say to a Transsexual in a First Email
All set to craft that first letter to the transsexual woman of your dreams? Congrats! Hope it goes well. However, there are four subjects, comments, attachments and phrases I would strongly suggest you steer clear, including:
Don’t use the term “shemale” at any point in your letter. This description was created by the pornography industry to help sell pornographic erotica that features pre-operative transsexual women. It’s considered a derogatory descriptor to almost every transsexual woman - unless she’s trying to get you to subscribe to her own private porn site. Its pretty much “the N-Word” of the transgender community.
When a guy uses the term shemale when communicating with a transsexual woman? It tells her three important things: first off, you know nothing about transgender women, second - your desire is completely rooted in a sexual fantasy and three - this inexperience means you’re not remotely a candidate for any sort of real relationship.
Get the picture?
“I’m a virgin & I want you to be my first. Please be gentle.”
I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I’ve seen this sort of info included in a personal ad or as a first response during initial correspondence with a transgender woman. It also sometimes includes a graphic image of the guy’s backside.
Along with the dominant she-male fantasy? This is about the worst thing you could say to a transsexual woman. Why’s that?
First off, very few transsexual women sexually identify as versatile - let alone top. Thus, what you’re putting out would be comparable to a gay guy sending you photos of his ass bent over and asking if you wanted some - if your ad was on a heterosexual dating site. Can you imagine how you would react to such a letter?
Secondly, “virgins” of any sort - be it sexually or with trans-dating - are usually not appealing to many transsexual women. Taking virgins is a guy fantasy…not female. Women – trans or otherwise – tend to respond most aptly to men that are comfortable with handling a woman. Trans-women go through a lot to get where they are now in life, appearance and sexuality. Your shy newness is not appealing to such a platform.
Finally, such a comment implies this is all about a sexual fantasy to you. Most transsexuals will suggest you take that need up with a paid escort.
Anything that strikes as “looking for my first experience” - will usually work against you if you’re trying to connect on-line. The only time that’s not the case is if you first meet her in a public setting. However, the “I’m a virgin” comment insures you’ll go home alone every single time.
Again, if you’re looking for your first experience? I would strongly recommend you start with a transsexual escort.
The third worst thing you can do is include nude photos of yourself. No woman - transsexual or otherwise - wants to bear witness to your penis unless she specifically advertised for some sort of extraordinary anatomical feature. Remember…we were once men. We’ve seen far more naked guys in our lifetime than all of our female friends, combined!
If you look good with your shirt off? Fine. If you kill a swimsuit - include a fun picture from the beach. Don’t send a nude photo!
Transsexual women understand most men simply want to fulfill a fantasy by reaching out. Sending a nude photo - including a close-up of Mr. Willy? This confirms you’re in that category and drops your chances to pretty-much zilch.
“I See You as a Woman”
Saying “I see you as a woman” sounds like a good idea and I know most guys that say this have their heart in the right place. However, in reality? By saying that? You’re affirming you do see her differently. Have you made that same statement to a born-woman? Of course not. Thus, don’t use the phrase with a transsexual female either.
Reminds me of that scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere tells Julia’s Roberts character he’s never treated her like a prostitute and she private retorts: “You just did”.
Just communicate and treat her like any other lady. Steer clear of transgender-based subjects and terminology.
“Is that your real hair?”
Most transsexual women wear wigs or extensions as a part of their female platform. You’d never know - since we become very skilled at crafting a convincing presentation at every level.
Telling a transsexual you prefer / or only want a beautiful transsexual with her own hair is like a woman saying she only wants a hot guy with at least a $10 million net worth statement.
Some things can’t be helped: get over it.
“Do you still have your penis?”
Transsexual women that place an on-line personal ad realize most guys who respond are seeking the fantasy: a beautiful female form who still has a penis. However, it’s entirely inappropriate to ask if she still has such configuration.
Most gals who completed bottom surgery will mention they are “post-operative” in their ad. That means - they no longer possess male configuration. It’s a private question and girls have a wide variety of outlooks about how they feel about this part of their anatomy. Don’t ask about it early-on.
Additional chapters Included in this section on this subject, include:
The Four Big Challenges with Finding a TS Girlfriend
Transsexual and Shemale Dating Websites
Transgender Chat Rooms
Writing a Good Letter to a Trans Woman
The Six Worst Things to Say to a TS