Common Mistakes of Beginning Transsexual Admirers
Everybody makes mistakes when starting out on new endeavors. Trans-admirers are no exception.
Following is the most common errors - and how to avoid them.
Your dominant Shemale fantasy
An inordinate amount of men carry a “dominant shemale” fantasy. However, outside of fictional pornographic scripts? This is totally against the realm of most transgender women.
The problem with this situation runs deeper than the fact no transsexual women beyond specially paid escorts will perform such an act. The fantasy is most often rooted in the essence of a transgender woman as something forbidden (hence the excitement) and you’re most comfortable exploring this aspect of your sexuality by force - where you’re not accountable for your actions or desires.
That combination? Is a huge turn-off to most transsexual women. You’re usually best leaving this concept in the realm of fantasy.
Fantasies Are Better Than You Think
Having now lived over ten years in two different genders, I’ve noticed that men are often obsessed with making sexual fantasies a reality while women tend to be more comfortable keeping them the unreal realm.
Considering all the issues associated with trans-dating? If this is primarily a sexual fantasy? You’ll probably be much happier investing in a large supply of appropriate pornography and toys vs. trans-dating sites and dinners.
In your fantasies? We’re always lovely, everyone gets erect or wet upon command plus arrive on time & leave when you tell them.
It’s a lot better than reality. Don’t push it! ((Hugs))
Do you still have your penis?
Yeah, I know. This is the first question almost every guy wants to ask a transsexual woman. However, you’ll make a HUGE mistake if you bring this up early in your dialog. It’s a private issue - akin to her requesting a copy of your last two years tax returns and an updated financial statement. Both - send the wrong message. Get it?
A much better way to frame this query? And again - only after you’ve been talking for awhile:
“What kind of surgeries have you had done and what are your future plans in this regard?” If her response only indicates cosmetic changes? (i.e. breast implants, facial feminization, etc.) It usually indicates she hasn’t had GRS / Gender Reassignment Surgery / Final surgery / Bottom surgery...since most gals that complete this phase are proud of the accomplishment.
However, it’s still fair to probe: have you made specific plans for GRS? If she skirts the issue again - let it go. It’s not something she’s prepared to share with you yet.
This is actually a fair question for a trans-woman – but only at the appropriate time.
Are you post-operative is a much more socially acceptable query to ask…
Total Beginner using a Full-Court Press
Another common mistake is when beginners overwhelm a gal with gushing correspondence about how much they want this - and her. Yet, it’s obvious they’ve never tried such a relationship .
Imagine if you wrote and told me you wanted to be a sailor - sailing is all you’ve thought about for the last five years - and you can’t wait to talk to me about sailing…and I discover you’ve never been on a sailboat? You never know for sure what you’ll love until you try it. Transsexuality is no different. As trans-women we’re very aware of the trials & tribulations associated with making trans-love work. We’ve also seen a lot of faces come and go over the years.
It’s not what you don’t know that gets you in trouble. Rather, it’s what you “know” to be absolutely certain.
The “Vanishing Admirer” Routine
The worst habit of some beginning male admirer’s is to start with non-stop romance, attention and adoration - then completely vanish from a trans-woman’s life. Want to know why some transsexual women get jaded regarding dating? You can thank these assholes!
We all know how this happens: some men draw back into the safety of their emotional cave following a deep connection with a trans-female. They finally reflect upon all the potential negative impact of openly dating a trans-female. Problem is - she took them at their word and now they’ve hurt her.
The lesson here?
Please be very careful offering promises, commitments and accolades until you’re very certain its what you need and want for more than a week or weekend. If any woman on the planet deserves more kindness and respect?
It’s a transsexual female!
Additional chapters Included in this section, include:
Transsexual Girlfriend: Picking a Match
TS Dating - How to Find the Best Match
TS Girlfriend Dating - The Ten Best Options
Transgender Dating - Common Mistakes
Tranny Dates - How to Succeed
Shemale Love: What's Most Important?
TS Dating: Answers to Common Questions