“Trans-Orientation" Sorting out your newfound sexuality
Yeah, I agree: last thing we need is “label”. Tell you what: we'll just stick to calling this unique attraction: trans-orientation...and leave the "admirer" title in place until we discover a more suitable synonym.
Next step? If you're going to be a bona-fide member of any group? The world requires you be duly classified. Fun, huh? God, what's wrong with our species & it's never-ending need for grouping?
Whatever...how about if we just begin the process of finding you a comfy place in this strange new world?
Additional chapters Included in This Section Include:
TS Dating Attraction to Transsexuals
Transgender Date: Transgender Sexual Orientation
Sorting Out Your Sexuality with an Attraction to Transgender Women
Transsexual Dating: The Five Most Common Types of Transsexual Admirers
"Accidental" Transsexual Orientation
Are You a Guy Who Secretly Fantasizes About Becoming a Woman?
TS Dating: Common Traits Between TS Women & The Guys Who Seek Them
How TS Admirers Evolve in Their Attraction
Date a Crossdresser: What Men Tend to Like Most About TS Women
What Men Tend to Dislike About TS Women
Primary points of differentiation amongst admirers
There's a lot of common ground amongst those drawn to transsexuals. Most importantly? Most knew there was something very special about the attraction after their first encounter with a transgender.
Alas, there's also differences between one admirer & the next. Such distinctions impact what sort of trans-person best matches with each admirer.
What are the most notable variations?
- The Admirer’s Gender
- The Admirer’s Age
- Degree of experience with transsexuals
- Surrounding norms and present circumstances
- Transgender Wiring
The Admirer’s Gender
Are you a man or a woman? Male admirers are most common but there’s also a growing number of women attracted to transsexuals.
Your gender matters because of the sexual orientation of your dream girl. If a transsexual woman identifies as lesbian - that means she’s wired to born-women or other transsexuals. Likewise, if she identifies as straight? That means she likes guys.
Got it? :)
These points of differentiation play a big role in how each admirer makes transsexual desires fit into their life. Let's delve into each of these variables and how they affect a transsexual union.
The Admirer’s Age
Aside from the fact most people prefer matching with another reasonably close to their own first birthday - age plays a big part in transsexual love for societal reasons.
Age plays a pretty big part in how one deals with transgender attraction issues.
Because there's substantial variations in social norms between generations. Most often, men & women just now in their twenties grew up going to school with classmates that were openly gay. People two & three times that age? Openly gay people pretty much got their asses kicked.
Those born before 1970 weren’t part of the gay revolution in terms of growing up with a more accepting environment to queer love. Thus, they tend to struggle more with the anxiety over openly dating a transsexual via friends and family versus a younger admirer. These prejudices are deep rooted - even when we don’t want them to be.
On the opposite side of the age-coin? There's maturity and a recognition that this thing called life doesn't last forever. If transgender attraction is a compelling part of one's persona they'll usually eventually get to the f***-it point. In other words? A man's 'gotta do...what a man's 'gotta do. *Laugh*
Of course, we're not talking about gays: we're discussing transsexuals. Alas, in the eyes of the public - these two terms are nearly synonymous when it comes to sexual & intimate attraction. Therefore, the norms associated with them are nearly identical.
At the time of this writing, the optimal age for being completely open to a transsexual partner seems to be mid-30’s…or younger - based upon interviews I had with lots of transsexual women. Ironically, women in their 20’s seem best-suited while men in their 30’s react optimally.
Why that is? Don’t have a clue!
Degree of Experience with Transsexuals
Perhaps the most compelling difference between one admirer & the next? Their degree of experience with transgender women. As with their trans-counterparts, the length of time one's been aware of this desire isn't as important as the sheer number of hours invested in hands-on experience...no pun intended. *Grin*
I'd say there's about three basic levels of familiarity with trans-women.
- Limited experience: by definition
- Might or might not have actually ever met with a trans-person. But - if they did meet one? It was a brief encounter.
- Experience to-date is primarily from on-line contact, pornographic material, etc.
- Had more than one direct contact with a trans-female
- Makes transgender desires a regular part of the social schedule: albeit probably infrequently
- Could be a person with very strong transgender leanings...but married
- Transgender desire is the driving force in finding a suitable & happy relationship
- Already been in a long term / committed or open union with a transgender
- Embraced the root-cause of their transgender desires: pre-op or post-op makes little difference
Naturally, some people are situated between these levels. A notable anecdote to this list? It should never be your ambition to attain new levels: it's not a hierarchy. Rather, it's a description of transgender admirer lifestyles. As with the girls themselves, the goal is unearthing your optimal degree of involvement based on your own wiring.
You got it: we're talking about balance. Find the right equation for your happiness? You win.
Surrounding Norms and Present Life Circumstances
One's current situation is the most immediate variable between one admirer & the next.
Are you married or single? Does your family live nearby & would they have a serious problem with your pursuits? Is your career impacted by your personal life? Do you live in a larger city or are you situated in a more remote location? In each of these instances, the norms surrounding alternative relationships are different.
Also, geographical norms play a role in this process. For instance? I grew up in a small town in western Kentucky. Being transsexual was not an ideal circumstance. The sense of shame associated with these norms impacted me for many years. Guess what? It would still be highly problematic if I were a teen in Owensboro, KY. In Atlanta? Challenging...but not nearly as difficult. Obviously, these influences are fixable...look at me. *Laugh* However, childhood precursors continue to impact one's public comfort with transgender attraction throughout life.
These are variables that given enough time...can always be changed. I've seen men alter their circumstances solely based upon overwhelming transgender desires. For example? Supply & demand makes the likelihood of intermediate or advanced admirers situated in sparsely populated areas ever meeting a nearby compatible partner less likely. Alas, it's rare for a trans-female to reside in a small town because of prejudicial issues. For intermediates? They just fit their desires into travel plans. For those where transgender desire is essential? It's often like their transgender counterpart. Move...or live a life of misery.
Present conditions are often the most compelling today...yet the easiest to alter over the long haul.
Finally, we have variations in a person's wiring. In other words? There are varied degrees of transsexual attraction implanted by Mother Nature.
This aspect is presently impossible to accurately measure but I believe as with transgender females: it exists. Only time & experience coupled with intensity of desire can illuminate its degree.
For some guys- they like all women - including transsexuals. As my old friend Brian told a co-heart who often saw him a a queer club and asked if he was gay: “All that matters to me is there’s a girl up top - I don’t care what’s below”. Translation? If she has a lovely female face and breasts - he cared less if she was pre-op, post-op or a born woman with a vagina.
For other men? They eventually find that a non-op or pre-op transsexual is the only thing that really rocks their senses.