Common Ground Between Admirers’s and Transsexuals
I always had a soft spot in my heart for admirers. I think most transgender girls fail to recognize or even appreciate the powerful role such people play in the overall balance of the trans-ecosystem. Ya'll do a lot. Importantly, you provide validation that we're presenting as female. For beginning trans-women this affirmation is crucial to her sense of progress: as a girl. Other trans-girls & women are equally important for us to impress & receive similar validation. Alas, these last two audiences are harder to impress early-on.
Know what else?
Trans-girls and their male admirers have a great deal more in common than first meets the eye.
I already spent a good bit of time discussing trans-girls - and what makes them unique. Likewise, I just disclosed the various types of admirers and what motivates each of their needs. Now, for both fun and benefit: I'm going to discuss traits both admirers and trans-girls have in common. And how these common characteristics can yield great relationships.
Should be fun... *Smile*
The most powerful common ground between Admirer’s and Transsexuals
Here's a little reality check. We transsexuals faced very similar challenges in our own path to trans-sexual discovery. You've probably spent as much intensity fretting over your trans-desires as we did about putting on our dresses. You've worried just as much about someone finding your little stash of trans-pornography (magazines, on-line images and video's) - as we did (or do) about getting our silk panties located. You see, we actually have more in common than first meets the eye.
The most compelling bond is actually the most simple. Namely, they both feel a strong need to express an alternative sexual lifestyle - and they both did not choose to be - the way they are.
Know what I mean? I did not choose to be a guy who prefers to look and appear as a woman. I don't necessarily dislike this inner need - but my life would have been much simpler without it. It w’as with me for as long as I can recall. In fact, I honestly don't recall not doing this. I can easily recollect praying for my sex to change - each night before I went to bed - when I was just five years old. Can you imagine what it felt like to be captain of my high school football team - and in reality - I secretly prayed I was a cheerleader? It was very confusing - and felt shameful.
Likewise, based upon candid personal interviews with trans-admirers, I don't believe any of them chose to be attracted to us gals. I'm sure most would agree their lives would be much simpler without this desire, as well.
Most admirers don't usually recognize this unique longing as early in life as we transsexuals do. For the male admirer, trans-girl attraction is usually like a waiting time bomb. This facet of their sexual palette ticks away silently - and explodes - the first time they see a lovely transsexual.
I've never met an admirer who required convincing - that he was attracted to transsexuals. Oh sure, many require a period of time to adjust to this need - before they actually proceed with their desires. However, they knew they had this desire - from the first moment they came in contact with a girl.
When a certified admirer first sees a tranny - he knows. Even if his mind won't own up to this hankering - his friend below his belt - will make it clear in rapid fashion. *Smile* Those men that have no such attraction - generally find what we gals do either - disgusting - or humorous.
Does Trans-Orientation Last Forever?
Can this trans-lust be altered? I don't think so. All in all - like with us trans-girls - it appears to be a lifetime deal. I have yet to meet a man who was once - sexually attracted to transsexuals - and then subsequently shifted this desire. For most - being sexually drawn to members of the transgender community is just who they are - sexually speaking.
There are a select few using it as a crutch for actually being gay. However, since we now live in a world where confessing the fact you are gay - is really not that big of a deal anymore - few men require the t-girl stepping stone process - to make their way out of the closet.
Typical beginnings of those Attracted to Transsexuals
With a bit of memory jogging, most admirers can actually recall the first time they ever saw a transsexual's graphic image. Almost all, can recall in vivid detail - their first such face to face encounter.
The following letter is typical of initial attraction and fascination by a certified admirer. I've received countless letters of a similar nature - but this one arrived just as I was drafting this section. Its inclusion seemed appropriate.
My name is Ali. I have a story to share that has turned into a dilemma for me. I was in the navy a few years ago and we were visiting Thailand. It was my 5th time there, and I had never really had any close contact with any t-girls.
I was having fun at a regular bar when out of nowhere, an argument broke out between the lady boys from the cabaret bar next door, and the girls at my bar. I told them that I would bring some guys to their bar (the ladyboys) to buy some drinks and chill everyone off
I go next door to the cabaret and I see the most beautiful intriguing woman I have every seen in my life. She was a pro (as you call them) and she was a "Katoey" - or t girl as they are called in Thailand. She could sense my interest. I have never thought of being with a man but this Asian t-girl just killed me.
We were speaking to each other with our eyes. Then she came and sat next to me and said "hello" in a not so passable voice. We talked for around about twenty minutes and the only way I got away with it, is because she was so feminine and most of the guys were clueless. I kissed her for around ten minutes in a secluded area of the club. I told her I had to be with her. She told me she was only a dancer and she didn't do that stuff, but she would still like to see me. So the next day, I went back. She never showed and I almost got caught( that would have been a disaster for my navy career). I returned my last day in Thailand and she was there and apologetic. She was also ready to go, but this time I couldn't because there were too many eyes watching.
To make a long story short I was never with her. That was 3 1/2 years ago and I have only had sex once since then. That was with a normal woman. Don't get me wrong I am a good looking guy that actually gets constant offers from good looking women. It is just that they don't excite me the way "Li Li" - the Thai t-girl did. I've pretty much lost interest in normal women. However, I have no interest in men.
Renee, could you please share your insight into my situation? I could really use some guidance.
Ali's story is not unique - although the actual indoctrination process may vary. For most, first contact typically occurs via pornography. So what do you do when you discover you have this desire - and it just won't seem to let go?
Read on, sweetheart...
Additional chapters Included in This Section Include:
TS Dating Attraction to Transsexuals
Transgender Date: Transgender Sexual Orientation
Sorting Out Your Sexuality with an Attraction to Transgender Women
Transsexual Dating: The Five Most Common Types of Transsexual Admirers
"Accidental" Transsexual Orientation
Are You a Guy Who Secretly Fantasizes About Becoming a Woman?
TS Dating: Common Traits Between TS Women & The Guys Who Seek Them
How TS Admirers Evolve in Their Attraction
Date a Crossdresser: What Men Tend to Like Most About TS Women
What Men Tend to Dislike About TS Women