Atlanta's Foremost Transgender Woman


Atlanta's Foremost Transgender Woman


How to Cross Dress in Public

The First Time You Leave the House as a Crossdresser

Please keep in mind,
not going out isn't the end of the world. I've known people who've ventured out only once in their life and harbor a greater sense of femininity in their daily lives - than girls who hit the bars every weekend. You'll also have to remember I live in Atlanta, GA - a very tg friendly city.  
public crossdress
All that being said, I'm a big fan of girls going out en femme. Personally, it's about the only time I dress anymore. I've met people who advocate it's no big deal. However, I've yet to meet a girl who has been out five times or more - and maintained such an opinion. In fact, I've found once people do it, it pretty much changes their whole life as a TG.

Before we start all this…

Here's a few other similar sections you also might want to check out:

Understanding Transgenderism
Do You Already Know a Crossdresser?
What's Up with all these different labels?
Important Terminology in the Transgender Community
Additional Slangs and Terminology
Problems Associated with Transgender Labels
Transgender Happiness
Telling Your Friends You're Transgender
Crossdressing in Public
Making Transgender Friends
Your Evolution as a Transgender Lady
Finding Happiness in a Dress

Deciding to leave the house dressed for the first time

If you are are worried about the actual details, we'll address that in upcoming sections. You must first decide if you really want to get out, and if it is practical. I feel the only reason you should not - is if you're married - and your spouse would not approve. To lie to your spouse about your transgender activities, is a free ticket to divorce court. You don't get to pass Go in the process. At the very least, you are creating a communication barrier - which is never healthy.
´┐╝crossdress public
I know this really sucks for those of you who either haven't told her, or waited too long initially. However, it's my feeling you shouldn't do it without her consent. Naturally, the optimal situation is for her to always join you. However, I know that's pretty rare. If you live in a small town, where going out is impractical for reasons of discretion, you'll have to fit it in during your out of town travels.

The Fear of People Recognizing You

A lot of newer girls get concerned they might see someone they know and be recognized. Don't. I know when you look in the mirror, you still see a lot of yourself. Trust me - no one else will. I've been going out for years. I know a lot of other girls who have as well. To date, I've never known anyone to be recognized - unless they wanted to be.

The only time this concern is heightened is if you're out - with your spouse. In this instance, you have given your acquaintance a basis - of which to put two & two together. Most people that fear such an association limit their outings to trips to other cities.

The psychology of actually walking out the door

If you've never tried, the first challenging thing about going out - is actually walking out your front door. The second is starting your car. The third is driving very far from your home. Finally, you have to get out of your four-wheeled sanctuary - and walk into your destination. Sounds simple? For a first-timer, I assure you - it is not! Every one of these steps is exceptionally frightening. I can recall the rush from each of these landmarks, as if it were only yesterday.
public crossdress

Every t-girl remembers her first time out. It's sort of like losing your virginity. The first time I ever went out, was to a TG friendly bar called Backstreet's in Atlanta. I was scared shitless. Being a relative newcomer to walking in high heels, I almost busted my behind twice just getting to the entrance. I finally beached myself in a chair, and dug in my heels - while I tried to catch my composure.

Fortunately for me, Backstreet's is one of those places where I could have worn a banana costume and hardly raised an eyebrow. Of course, I felt the whole world was staring at me. My first drink barely hit my lips, because my hands were shaking so badly. I ended up having a fun night, but that first hour was hell!

Advice: Go out with a trans girlfriend

If I had it to do over again, I would have gone with a tg girlfriend. Her confidence and experience will help you feel more comfortable. Her knowledge of where to go, will help keep you on the right path. Her experience in dealing with others will keep you from doing something you might regret in the AM. Finally - there is strength in numbers - even just with two.

If you don't yet have any TG girlfriends, you can certainly make some on-line. Just don't be too pushy. Many girls will only meet you out (including me) - which is fine. Why? They've simply been stood up by too many times by early stagers who chicken out at the last minute. Although I understand their trepidation, I don't appreciate it cutting into my precious fem time.

Where should you go?

If you are going out with an experienced GF, this little challenge will most likely already be resolved. If you are going solo, you'll have to do a little research first.

I'm at a point where I go just about anywhere as Renee, but that took a lot of time. My suggestion is to first visit your target location en drab (dressed as a guy). Learn the basics - the crowd, the bathrooms, the flow.

Once you arrive en fem: tip the bartenders!. They'll look after a good customer like a hawk. At tg clubs, you are part of what draws other customers - you are part of the show - if you will. The staff tends to look after you in general. The bathrooms are usually unisex - but make certain. Some clubs don't want t-girls in the GG bathroom - some don't care.

I must warn about going to bars not known for being TG Friendly. The bar owners are rarely the problem. Ever seen a guy get pissed after a woman rebukes him? Well, you can usually multiply that anger by about a thousand when one of us do it. Although you might be fully capable of physically defending yourself, do you really want to run the risk of going to jail in a dress and getting locked up with Bubba? I'll pass on that experience.

In time, you'll learn all the best tg haunts. I have this typical desire for food when I'm out all night. Even my late night breakfast spot is known as a TG friendly spot - plus they serve great food. (The "Majestic" on Ponce de Leon). If I'm out clubbing on a weekend, and you stop by about 6:00AM - you'll find me sitting on the back wall to the right. I think they are going to bronze my image in that booth, since I've been going there so many years. ::))
public crossdress
Try to stay on the beaten path of other TG's as you start going out. You'll be better off!

What to wear

Get used to having trouble answering this little question throughout your female life. It's always a bitch! ::))

I'd suggest you start with something you feel feminine in - I assume that's half the reason you're going out - but that you don't feel too revealing in. I'd also recommend a reasonable height of heels to start. I almost killed myself by going too tall initially. I had done the steps in my home, etc.- but after a few drinks, the pot holes in the parking lot, people banging into me, and unusual surroundings - even the the most adept heel walker can be challenged.

I wear some pretty hot outfits when I go out. However, I've  been doing it a long time. I know where I can get away with donning such clothing. If I'm traveling, or in a more laid back atmosphere, the red dress you see on the left is my typical attire. It is feminine, yet shows off my only best feature: my legs. On the other hand, if I'm going to a theme bar (like The Chamber in Atlanta) or a more t-friendly club like Backstreet's,  I'll sort of push this limit. The pink outfit on the right is one of my typical outfits at those type clubs.

Advice: Pack a friendly attitude

Most of the clubs accepting of t-girls are recognized as gay clubs. Only a few years ago, most gays were convinced we were really homosexual - and were using our dresses as a crutch - to accepting this fact. Recently, I've noticed even the most hard core fags are beginning to acknowledge our unique brand of sexual expression.
However....some are not very friendly to some t-girls - with good reasons! Why? Most newer gals live in fear of their own sense of sexual orientation being identified as gay by others. They might also fear a gay man will be attracted to them if they smile their direction or talk profusely with them. Let me clue you in on something. First, most gay men are attracted to all things masculine - and we represent very little of that. Second, they usually endured a lot of pain in their lives while learning to accept and love themselves for who they are. Sound familiar? Any person who seems prejudiced regarding them being gay - is not looked upon too kindly - particularly in their own back yard.

Having friends in any club makes going there lots more fun. Most of my best friends from the night club scene are gay men. None of these special people have ever grabbed my ass or caused me any grief. In fact, they've saved my physically and emotionally more times than I care to recall. 

Try accepting others in the same manner you'd appreciate being received. You'll be amazed how many wonderful new friends you'll make when you remove this veil of prejudice. ((hugs))

Hanging-out etiquette 
If you are lucky enough to live in or near a city with clubs that are accepting of gals like us, you are in for a treat. We now live in a world where you have some great places to go play every weekend en femme - and endure no ridicule or frustration at all.

Many tg's hang out by order of beauty and passability. Is this sounding like high school females, or what? Actually, there are some valid reasons for this "pecking order". Those that have breast augmentation, tend to be with other girls that have the same enhancements. The reason is they typically have more in common. We all tend to be drawn to people we believe understand us.

Just because you are tg, doesn't mean every other girl will be attracted to you, or feel they face the same issues as you do. If you are relatively new to exploring your femininity, you can be certain a girl who has been doing it for years - will likely have a lot of experiences you haven't had. Just be friendly to everyone. You can never go wrong with a smile. ::))

I know basically every club active TS in Atlanta. A few, are dear friends. The rest are sweet and I'm always nice to them, but I can do without the problems that go with their lifestyles. Be careful about getting caught up in this rat race. Even if you win - you'll still only be a rat. ::))

I honestly don't know another t-girl who has a more highly sexed nature than yours truly. However, if I share my desires with a friend I'm attracted to, I first make sure they are interested in receiving my attentions. I hope you'll do the same. ((hugs))

Your Going out checklist

Are you ready to go out? First, don't forget your purse! Inside, I always take the following: plenty of cash, driver's license, vehicle insurance card, a phone card, one credit card, change for a phone call, face powder, lipstick, concealer, mascara, an umbrella (I melt easier than the "Wicked Witch of the West") and a couple of safety pins in case something comes loose. Any larger emergencies than that, and I just call it a night and go home!

If this is your first time out, I'd suggest you take one other item with you: a practiced vocabulary. A lot of newcomers "clam up" on their first night out. They are often so terror stricken, they can't recall how to use their fem voice. This happened to me, it has happened to others - and it could happen to you.

If you've ever done any public speaking you likely already know this trick. It's very important to memorize your opening statement. From there - you can wing it.

If you are going to a nightclub, you will be saying these simple phrases quite often:

"I'm Renee, how are you?" "Could I get a "Screwdriver" please?" "Thank you, hon." "It's nice to meet you." "What's your name, sweetie?"

Practicing these common questions and responses in your fem voice, will help you get by much better in that first hour. 

However...most new girls get far too caught up in perfecting their female voices early on. Why? Because we so much want to pass - and we get convinced our voice is the biggest tell-tale sign - that we're not really women. Honey, I hate to clue you in on this little secret - but almost none of us pass. Guess what else? In a t-friendly nightclub - nobody cares! *Smile* Thus, you'll do much better just speaking clearly and being yourself. Trust me - it works! 

And remember - if you ever get pulled over while en femme - don't dare fail to stop or give the officer your proper identification. There is no law against a man driving a car in a dress. However, the law is pretty specific on lying to an officer - you'll likely end up in jail.

Shopping en femme

Once you get comfortable going to tg friendly bars en femme, your next big adventure is often shopping. This is pretty special, because you finally get to try on those damn clothes and pick out what fits - versus the normal buy and return and re-buy - tg routine.

The biggest challenge you face in this area often has less to do with your look - and more to do with your attitude. My dear friend Joanne Bennett recently shared with me her success model with this dilemma. I was impressed with her ideas. After having first visited a mall - and gotten read like a book - Joanne decided to invest an afternoon at the same location and simply watch the shoppers. Her research provided an increased level of confidence regarding her surroundings. She also noted how women real" women handled themselves in this world. For instance, she noted how women often smile at one another when passing - yet do not extend this courtesy to men. 

She spent an entire day studying these details and used her findings during her next mall visit - where she didn't get read once. I wish I had followed that idea when I first went shopping publicly.

What about the Dressing Rooms? Department store dressing rooms can be a little tricky. Although most of them now include training for their personnel on working with us, some people just can't keep their opinions - both verbally and non-verbally to themselves. If you have the confidence, you need not worry. If not, you'll do better in specialty shops of an "alternative" nature. They are the much more accepting. Most are owner-operated, and even those run by unaccepting people, are usually just selfish enough to follow their capitalistic instincts over any morality issues. They'll typically go out of their way to help you spend your money in their stores.
What should you wear when you shop? I prefer tube tops because I can change clothes rapidly while trying on different outfits. Also, jeans are comfy, and you won't stick out in them. ::))

Dressing while traveling

If you live in a small town, the only time it might be practical for you to get out en femme, is when you travel. I'd suggest you first get to know some friends on-line, (discussed in Dealing with it) to give you pointers on where to socialize in your target city. I tend to dress pretty wild when I'm out and about in Atlanta, because I know my turf - where I'm safe. When traveling, I tend to be a lot more conservative in my attire. It's not quite as fun, but it's much smarter.

I keep a travel packing list, so I don't forget anything - and a separate suitcase for Renee - so nothing gets confused. Of course, I include my favorite wig, my outfit of choice, and all the trimmings. Be sure and get a hotel room situated where you will feel comfy coming in and out en fem.

The realities of passing

Time for a reality check. I'm pretty good at looking like a woman. In general, I can cruise through any mall without a second glance from anyone. How? First, I have the confidence to pull it off. Second, I have the experience to be good at it.

However, the reality is that only about .01% of tv's can pass 100% of the time. (And I'm NOT in this category) If a person knows anything about t-girls, or is highly observant - you are going to get clocked. There are simply too many things working against us - the size of our hands and feet, the Adam's apple, our voice, etc, etc., etc. I have no desire to list it all - gets me in a bad mood. ::))

The key to going out is to emotionally accept the fact you'll get clocked now and then. It's like most things in life: you can't necessarily control what happens to you - but you can control how you react to it. Think through what you are going to do about it in advance. I try to say something humorous when it happens. A smile takes most anyone off the offensive.

Finally, be careful not to put yourself in any danger - or break any laws. As men, we tend to be less observant about people following us, where the security station is located, or parking in a safe place. As a girl - all this changes in a hurry. Another danger is making certain you don't break any laws. This includes using the women's bathroom in public places. Go light on the liquids, when you are headed out to "non friendly" spots. Plan what you will do if 'ya gotta go. Either locate a single stall type restroom at a nearby gas station, or ask mall management to assist you.

Enhancing your skills

Another reason I feel going out is so important? It really motivates you to enhance your skills. The way you walk, the way you poke out your behind when standing, the way you move your hips, the way you move your arms when you walk, the way you hold your arms when standing, the way you cross your legs, the way you sit or stand, the way you hold your wrists and fingers - all these things mean little in the confines of your home. However, they make a big difference in front of strangers.

Once you get adept at these skills, one challenge you'll face is remembering to drop these habits when you come out of your fem role. This is easier said than done. I take a moment when I'm coming out of fem, to speak clearly as a man, etc. You'll be surprised at the number of mannerisms you'll retain, if you are not conscious of what you are doing.

The final, and perhaps most important area of fem development - is acquiring the right female attitude. This is a very individual thing. Remember: A little bit of bitch is okay. ::)) Hold your head up with pride! Be confident. Be yourself. Be a woman!!::))

The final analysis

I've seen too many people hesitate to go out - or get discouraged - because they didn't feel they looked fem enough. I think this is ridiculous. Compared to today, I looked like a real mutt, when I first started going out. You know what? Who cares? My experiences with Renee are just that - my experiences. They are for my personal pleasure - and should be for yours as well. Regardless of how fem I look, I'll still only be a guy in a dress. Know what else? I like it!!

I personally think going out is a very important experience in your fem development. It will motivate you too look better, and it will force you to improve all your fem traits. It will also be one of the most liberating days of your life!

I hope to see you out in Atlanta sometime…you might find me at one of the TG friendly nightclubs in our area - or at some mall - wasting my hard earned money on Renee.

Good Luck, 'sis!! ((hugs))

How to Walk Like a Woman

Short of a long beard, few things give away a trans woman more often than "the way they walk". Sadly, I've seen full-time TS women come up way short in this aspect of their presentation - and then marvel over "why" people treat them as male.

Want to pass in public? Its essential you enhance this aspect of your female presentation.
Crossdresser Posture - Female Tips

Our Goals Are Simple:
  1. We want to adjust our male walking "mechanics" into that of female
  2. We don't want to do anything that reads "different" - which means people look closer for why that is: created unwanted attention to other details.

How Crossdressers Change Walking Mechanics from Male to Female

There's a number of simple tricks you can use to walk more feminine.

To develop these skills - I would suggest you practice while wearing heals. Importantly, practice wearing the heals you'll most often be wearing in public - I learned this aspect the hard way after getting overly accustomed to adorning 6" platforms during my years as a kid & crazy club girl - then being completely unprepared for walking in 3" heals after I transitioned.
As you're about to learn - heals are somewhat of a byproduct of why women walk differently than men - they force you to change your cadence.

Additionally, they lower your center of gravity to more congruence with a female and they'll make your booty poke out a bit: all things we want to accomplish in this process.

  1. Finally, you'll be walking in heals when you're out in public. The more miles you log privately - the less likely you are to endure an embarrassing mishap publicly. Every woman's crashed and burned walking in heals: they're just less stable. However, we want to minimize that likelihood.

Secrets to Walking Like a Lady

  • Thigh Lead - Of all the insights I'll give you into walking more womanly? This one's most important. As a guy - when we walk - we tend to lead with our foot - and the heel of our foot is usually the first thing to come into contact with the ground beneath us as we traverse forward. Guess what? That won't work as a woman when wearing heels - our most unstable platform is the heel tap. By leading our stride with our thigh
    Crossdresser - Learning to Walk Like a Lady
  • Take Smaller Strides - Another byproduct of wearing heels? Its safer to take smaller strides. The more balanced our center of gravity? The more stable we remain.
  • Sway Hips Naturally - Another tell-tale sign of a trans person is over dramatization of hip movement. The good news? Two things will solve this problem naturally for you:
    1. Thigh Lead - then "pull". Remember our thigh-lead approach to walking we just discussed? If you'll use that technique - along with a smaller stride - and then use your forward thigh to "pull" your body further forward? Your hips will sway by default - creating a naturally more feminine cadence.
    1. Wearing heals as you walk magnifies this situation by lowering your center of gravity.
  • Glide - Don't Clomp - Another fallout from wearing heals that makes women walk differently from men? It's not safe to lift the foot above the ground significantly when walking: creates danger falls from uncertain landings. Essentially, you should be landing on the toe of our foot: not the heal. This takes a good bit of practice to master after a lifetime of walking male. You don't want to drag your feet - you just want to lower the total rise in your foot lift.

How you walk plays a huge role in presenting as female - but its just half the equation.

What's the other half?

Good Posture: The First Step to Excellent Feminine Presentation

The reason a lot of beginning crossdressers (even some TS women) don't present well in public is posture. I'll confess: this was my early downfall - both when I started going out n public as a crossdresser and just after I transitioned to full-time.

Why is that?
Crossdress Tips Walking Like a Lady

I think its partly human nature: when we feel shy and afraid? It's somewhat natural t slump our shoulders and eyes downward into more fearful "don't look at me" body language. Unfortunately, few things draw eyes more quickly than a "slumped over" female.

How do we beat this challenge?

Simple - practice! How we do one thing - is how we do everything.

There's nothing that will make you look ten pounds lighter (without dieting) and make all your clothes look more regal and elegant than good posture and a graceful walk. At first - it will take practice: in from of a mirror as you first learn. Then - the muscles will start to memorize these new movements and the brain will follow: it becomes easier. You can pacice while carrying things from room to room - or while cleaning the kitchen. Don't get discouraged if its doesn't happen quickly.

Keys to Good Posture:

  1. Head Erect - chin parallel to the floor.
  2. Shoulders back - then "relaxed" - not rigid
  3. 3. Chest High
  4. Tummy in - never let your waist settle down on your hips - this trick alone will make you look pounds thinner.
  5. Elbows slightly bent - drawn towards the body (not outward like men) and palms turned in towards body.

Passing Fashion styles thatdon’t” work for trans women and alternatives that “do”

If wearing shorter skirts, junior styles, flashy outfits, lots of skin or cleavage and many accessories is
your thing? You’re not alone. Almost every new trans-women is drawn to one or all of these styles when she first goes full time.
Short Skirt Looks that Work

Unfortunately, these styles usually aren’t very functional in your new gender. Wearing them draws unwanted attention, gets you read quickly and often makes you an outcast amongst born-women at a time when you desperately need to develop close female associations.

The good news?

There’s always more than one way to skin a cat. Here we’ll revisit common fashion faux pas - and provide you alternatives that will work just as well.

Sound like fun?

Lets get to it!

What Doesn’t Work: Too short of a skirt
Leggings vs. short skirt

Lots of transgender women have killer legs - particularly by female standards. However, showin
g too much of those nice legs at anything other than a tranny bar will get you read in a hurry and make you a fashion outcast amongst born-women. If your over forty-years-old? About the only way you can effectively pull off that look is when its coupled with a very classy longer blazer.

Alternative solutions that Work Just as Well

I already mentioned pairing your short skirt with a fine blazer. Your other options include:

Uneven Hem

Fitted leggings will show off a nice pair of legs almost as well as bare skin but without all the splash. They also help mask excessive muscle-tone: a challenge faced by some transgender women.

Leggings are an essential component of many fashion-conscious trans-women’s wardrobe.

Uneven Hem Dress
We Love Leggings

Another option for killer gams is an uneven hem dress. While you’re actually showing just as much leg in the front, it’s usually covered in the rear and is considered more socially acceptable.
love uneven hem dresses. They offer a delicious combination of class plus sass!

What Doesn’t Work: Low-Rise Jeans

Unless you had some hip and buttocks augmentation, you’ll probably want to steer clear of low-rise jeans. They tend to quickly illuminate the lack of a female hip bone. Also, if you’re a mature woman - they illuminate a straight-line hip area. That only flies as female for younger girls.
Low Rise Jeans on Transgender Women

I did get hips & buttocks augmentation and I still can’t effectively pull off a classic low rise look unless I add some belts and trim to the equation.

I’ve only seen a handful of augmented and very thin trans-women who can do this look without help.

And BTW? I
hate those women! :)

Alternative solutions that Work Just as Well
High Waist Jeans

When it comes to jeans, you’ll do better with lycra-infused high waist jeans. We don’t want that “mom jeans” look of a loose fit pulled up high on the waist & held tightly with a waist belt. Rather, we want a fitted look made popular by NYDJ: Not Your Daughter’s Jeans - coupled with either some hip pads and / or low rise belts or wraps to visually thicken the hip and ass area.

What Doesn’t Work: Wearing Runway Looks in Run-of-the-Mill Life
Nobody enjoys wearing Runway as much as your truly? I love hats and lots of fun trim. Unfortunately, even in large metro areas like Atlanta - such looks are too much for almost any event or locale. If I wear them? It screams tranny!
Suburbs Runway

Alternative solutions that Work Just as Well
Leave off the hat, animal skin and silk head scarf. Try putting together combinations that combine clever color mixes with black and white or related complimentary tones.

My favorite inspirational source in this regard was often Boston Proper catalogs. Their unique fashion combos were always flashy and clever by any standard - but not over the top. That’s the sweet spot we’re looking for!

What Doesn’t Work: Wearing Tranny Gear
Too Much for Mainstream

I must admit: it was sad day when I finally retired my six-inch heels. I grew up in the crazy clubs that represented transgender life before my transition and when trans-expression was far less acceptable.

To this day, some transgender women struggle not wearing those ultra high heels are crazy outfits. They were perfect then: don’t work now.
Cosplay Fun

Alternative solutions that Work Just as Well

Want to get away with wearing your most insane combinations? Get into Cosplay! It’s the rage for wearing crazy outfits and corsetry in public. It’s literally: DRAG - for straight people. Every major city has various Cosplay events throughout the year. Even smaller municipalities are building a following.

It’s a great way to meet new friends and continue to get good use from your arsenal of hot gear.

What Doesn’t Work: Too much cleavage on display

Just got new breast implants? If your like I was: you’re literally
dying to show off that new cleavage. When I first got mine? Almost everything I wore was cut to the bone - or in this case: the breast.
Too Much Skin

This isn’t just a trans-issue. Almost every woman that first gets implants is a little too aggressive in sharing those glands with the world around her. HOwever, those women don’t also face issues with being transsexual.

Alternative solutions that Work Just as Well
Too Much Cleavage

You can share your substantial new cleavage without showing half your breasts. Just bring it down a notch: the effect will be just as strong but you won’t get those nasty stares from wives and girlfriends.

Favorite Tricks and Fashion Styles for Transgender Women

If you gander at my favorite fashions photo gallery you might walk away with the impression I have tons of clothes and lots of different looks.
High Waist Cinch Belt1

I agree: I have lots of clothes. However, from a fashion variation standpoint? I tend to wear only three different looks - I just constantly repeat those through varied outfits, colors and seasons. All of these core designs were created to mask issues most transsexual women face, including:

  • The lack of a structured female hip bone
  • A naturally lower waist line
  • Less full hips
  • Wider shoulders in comparison to the hip line

These issues are common amongst transsexual women and can be subtlety improved with fashion and accessories.

On the
next page you’ll find photo examples from my own wardrobe along with explanations regarding the core design. You’ll now see my own photos with a trained eye. You might also decide I’m actually kind of boring with my style palette! *Laugh*
Vertical Lines in Fashion

Vertical and Horizontal Lines - Vertical lines narrow our frame and slim our bodies. They can be achieved from actual lines within the print of a fabric or through the vertical line created when a longer blazer is left open - revealing a vertical, rectangular image of the blouse underneath. One of my favorite & quite elegant methods of creating vertical lines that slim my shoulders and body? I buy vintage “bow scarf” blouses from ebay (the typo that have an attached scarf that can be tied in a bow at the neckline). I leave the fabric used to tie the bow hanging loose - which appropriately and delicately creates the lines I’m looking for! I use horizontal lines near the hip area - to create the image of wider width.
Cinch Belts

Cinch Belts - Wide stretch belts are a transsexual woman’s most essential fashion accessory. They provide a host of benefits: they cinch the waist - creating a more narrow waisted look, by positioning them higher than your natural waist (just below the start of the rib cage) - they create the illusion of a much more natural female hip structure. Also, since they often cinch and constrict
High Waist Transsexual
loose fabric by nature - they often cause a puckering of the fabric beneath their position = which causes your hips and ass to appear larger and more feminine. Definitely, the sort of accessory no TS woman wants to be without!

Lower Hip Belts & Scarves - One or more matched belts or scarves at the lower hips creates the illusion of more width where nature left us short. When you combine this added width with a snug cinch belt situated higher on the waist? You create a compelling more feminine shape - just through the help of fashion and accessories. There’s a bunch of different design options you can explore - including wrapping a bulky sweater or jacket around your hips. I include lots of ideas in my photos but you’ll discover much more in fashion magazines.
Cinch Belt & Lower Scarf

Crossdressing Fashion Secrets

Fashion. Sound intimidating? Nah - it's fun.

Do you know the real difference between men and women - when it comes to this word? 

Of course you do! Every tranny understands this - even better than most women. The correct solution shows up each time they shop. Men - go in and buy. They rarely shop. Why not? Because - for men - clothes are simply a mechanism for looking good.


For women (and us tranny's) - clothes are part of a process - where a dream - is created.  For many t-girls - slipping into a particular ensemble is like stepping into a fictional world. She becomes a wicked dominatrix - or subservient school girl - all with a slight change in fashion. Those - of course - are extreme examples. 

However, make no mistake. This is what fashion designers do for a living. When a top designer pens a new dress or jacket - their first project is to decide who they will make the woman. Then - they start adding the styles that do - just that.

They reach back into history. They try to re-create Marlene Dietrich - or Marilynn Monroe. The role of the designer is to tap into - and release - the secret aspirations that women store - deep within themselves. It is in this manner that beautiful clothes are "transporting". 

What is that? 

Think of it this way - when you shop for clothes - you envision yourself - looking like the dream in the catalog - creating the same sort of lustful awareness - you might experience viewing the ensemble offered for purchase.

Most t-girls start their fashion experience with lingerie. It turns them on. However - in reality - it takes their soul to a female place. By donning a simple pair of panties or hose - their mind feels like a woman. This experience - is the role of fashion

See. I told you that you already knew fashion, didn't I? *Smile*

So what is fashion? Simple. It's the creation of a dream - through clothing & accessories. 
section overview

Here I'm going to show you how to:

  • Take inventory of your strengths & weaknesses
  • Understand how to use fashion to accentuate your assets 
  • Use alterations to improve an outfit
  • Consider various feminine illusions - that can help

take inventory


What's the first thing we need to do? Take inventory. 

We all start with certain God-given features that will help in transformation. If you're like many beginning t-girls - you're looking in the mirror and saying - Renee, all I see are female liabilities. Trust me, baby - that's not the case. ((hugs))

It could be your cheeks, your behind, your lips, your hands - something - but you've got some great assets to build off of. We want to flaunt those - when we get to the final phases of this transformation. We'll bury the rest so deep - even a grave robber couldn't dig 'em up. *Smile*

Sadly, a number of my feminine features are less than ideal. My skull is large - compared to the rest of my body, I'm very long waisted - which means I look exceedingly male - in anything but the highest of heels. If you can - get another gals opinion during this process. Why? Because we tend to be harder on ourselves - than we should be. 

Also, we often fail to recognize certain feminine strengths we possess. A good example? When I first started going out - I did everything I could to hide my muscular calves. As luck would have it - I lovely lady pointed this out as one of my better features - and how to accentuate it. Try - to get some additional "advice". 

renee's inventory

As much as I hate doing it - I'm going to discuss a few of my female challenges - to get your mind thinking more clearly - in this regard. Likewise - I'll discuss a couple of my femme strengths - as rare as they are. *Laugh* Finally, I'll review items that I consider good & bad - depending upon - how I present them. 

The Bad

Skull & Chin
- Relative to the rest of my body - I've got a large cranium. We're not talking water head proportions - but it's a distant cousin. *Laugh* The size of my skull is aggravated by a prototypical male chin. This pair of attributes is always a challenge for me.

Facial Skin Quality
- Like most men - I failed to properly care for my skin earlier in life. A pair of shattered football facemasks - didn't help this situation. Facial hair & loads of testosterone seal my skin "sucks"! *Laugh*

The Good

- My eyes are deep blue. I was born with a femme arch at my eye brows which one plastic surgeon described as a $25,000 gift from God. *Laugh*.

Height & Weight
- At 5'9 & 145 lb - I've got a frame that's relatively female-sized.

The Good & Bad

The most common traits we tend to have - are those which I'd define as good & bad. Specifically, these traits look good - when properly presented - and not so good otherwise.

No Hips - No Ass
. A perfect female body is shaped like a hour glass - where the hips are roughly the same width as the shoulders. Sadly, I'm like most shoulders are significantly wider than my hips. Ideally, Shoulder width = hip width. In skimpier outfits...this can be a friend.

My large calves
- I have the sort of muscles in my calves many body builders would die to possess. When I'm standing flat footed - this looks pretty male. In heels - it can look fairly femme - and hot.

I'm very long-waisted
- Do you know what long-waisted is? It's when your mid section is disproportionately longer than your legs. The way around this is either donning high-waisted pants or skirts (to reduce the length of my waist) - or wearing an outfit which shows a bit of leg (increasing the appearance of my leg length).

what traits can change?

Certain traits can change over time. We can lose weight, improve our daily skin regimen to develop a more smooth face. You can even get various types of cosmetic surgery to improve or hide certain flaws.

You should be careful in quantifying your happiness by these changes. Sadly, I did that once too often - early on. An error I made was emotionally penalizing myself when I failed to achieve a certain goal in a specified time frame. I'd berate myself. I'd become angered - and pass on attending a femme function because I felt overweight. This - is always wrong. It's healthy to reward yourself for the accomplishment of key benchmarks. However, penalties are not optimal. 

Life - is not about - looking lovely as a female. It's about being happy. Happiness comes from participating in activities you enjoy and spending time with like-minded friends...exactly what conditionalized prerequisites on your appearance take away from you - if you're not careful.

Invest the time and energy in improving those traits that you might enjoy seeing more femme. Reward yourself for a job well done. But never - stop having fun in the process of getting there. The trip along the way - is chocked full of the best experiences life can offer. **kiss**

finding a physical mentor

Ever seen another t-girl and said to yourself...I want to look like that? 

Me too! *Smile*

Trouble is - we often select role models with features very different from our own. Do me this favor. Start looking at other t-girls less as eye candy - and more - as physical role models. Start seeking out images of sisters that have features - a lot like your own. 

This - helped me a great deal. I quit trying to duplicate some bitch in the Victoria's Secret catalog - and focused on patterning myself after gals that had many of my same strengths - and flaws. You'd be amazed what you can learn. I even noted what I felt did not - look good on them.

Copying - is the most common success element in fashion.

fashion & fitting

I've already mentioned our bodies are different from women's. Perhaps you've noticed it too! *Smile* This has pro's and con's when it comes to buying and wearing women's clothing. 

In general you'll find our rib cages to be larger than a female of our same height & weight - and our hips more narrow. The result? We are built sort of like an upside down female - and their clothes often fit us a little backwards. Because of these variations in fitting I will reiterate how important a return policy - is to your success in acquiring items you look great wearing. 

using lines to your advantage


Most of us t-girls are shaped like an inverted female. Inverted? You got it - our shoulders are usually wider than our hips. Thus, a goal with our fashion becomes reversing the appearance Mother Nature gave us - through our clothing.

The outfit you see in photo 1 is a lot more planned regarding besting these challenges than you'd first think. Notice the jacket - I left it unbuttoned. Why? Because I want your eyes to focus on the vertical illusion - not the width of my shoulders. 

Take a look at the skirt. It has a tailored flare to accentuate wider hips - I wasn't born with. Finally, the boots cover my large calves - and enhance the vertical lines of the look. 

Now take a look at the photo labeled number 2. I've turned sideways only seconds after photo 1 was taken. My shoulders got bigger - didn't they? *Smile* I lost the advantage of the vertical illusion from my open jacket. Imagine if I wore that jacket buttoned up - I'd look like a linebacker. 

As a general rule, you'll want to select upper garments that enhance vertical lines (open jackets, deep cut halter tops - even long necklaces). 

Your middle garments should focus on presenting a more horizontal appearance. (horizontal stripes, flared skirts, etc.) 

Try playing with the lines of your body to enhance your feminine form. 

You'll be amazed how fashion and clothing styles can assist you in presenting a more feminine look without the addition of body padding. 

altering the situation

Regardless of initial fit, even the perfect dress or skirt will usually require slight adjustments to look perfect. Women often get clothes altered to look their best. Outside of hemming pants, men are not typically accustomed to doctoring clothes to get the right fit.

Do you think Cindy Crawford really fits like a glove in that hot Versace dress on the cover of Cosmo? Not hardly. The photo on the left is an an example of what you don't see in the glamour ads. Getting clothes to look their best on your body almost always involves some form of alteration. On your finest outfits - it's worth the investment.


Nervous about taking your dress to be altered? Don't be. For simple alterations - such as reducing the length of a skirt or adding a much higher slit - you can simply mark it yourself. When you drop it off for your spouse or girlfriend - you can go over in much greater detail all the things she told you to get done. Know what else? That little lie - is almost the truth. Your girl friend -
did send you. *Smile*


If your alteration requires extensive on-site measurements - and you are shy about it - find a vendor catering to the gay community. Gays are often not up on the latest leanings of the transgender community - but they do know DRAG. If you'll call them in advance and tell them you do an occasional DRAG performance - they'll be more than happy to have you come in and get altered to your heart's content.

One of my standard alterations is cutting the shoulder pads out from any jacket or blouse. Manufacturers include this padding to help women achieve a look we typically already possess - broad shoulders / narrower hips. Keeping them often gives you that linebacker look - which is less than ideal unless you make your living playing football on Sundays. Remember, we want to look like the cheerleaders on the sidelines -
not the bruisers on the astroturf! ::))

Take the time to study women's fashions that are applicable to your size and shape. Remember, women's clothing and accessories are designed to hide flaws - or accentuate strengths. Do you have great legs? Then make them the focal point by wearing a short skirt. Do you have narrow hips? Then show them off in a slim fitting dress. Or better yet, wear a zebra patterned skirt with horizontal stripes - to provide the illusion your hips are wider and more feminine. Study yourself, study fashion, study how lines & flow are used to sculpt your appearance. 

Most of all, study women you see and admire. You'll learn a lot!!

clothes that work

Certain types of clothes just seem to work better for us than others. To select the right clothing you first have to take a quick inventory of what you can - and cannot - show. For example: if you have a hairy chest and cannot shave it - low cut items are off your list. If you have hairy arms and can't bleach or trim them - you will likely want to stay away from sleeveless items.

Following is a breakdown of the basic type of t-girls I see most often - and the associated styles of clothing they seem too look best wearing. Remember: this is a general guideline - not a rule book. 


The two most limiting parameters are your height / weight proportion - and your ability to shave hair from certain (or all) portions of your body. I'm ignoring height as a factor since it limits mostly passability and clothing selection - not clothing style. 

Type A -
The Prototypical t-girl - a bit (or more) too much belly, not enough everywhere else she would like it, can't shave hair. Type A gals tend to look most feminine in a slim fitting high neck dress with a waist cinching corset underneath - and perhaps some hip padding added to the sides. The key for these sisters too look their best is in the presentation of "curves". 

Most gals in this category feel they could never look feminine and are sooooooooo wrong. Haven't you ever heard of voluptuous girl friend? With a little help from a corset or waist cincher - you'll look like 90% of the women in the world - and with make up expertise - you can look better than 90% of that group. *Smile*   

Type B -
Slender gals who can't shave any body hair. These girls look very feminine in slim fitting business suits with high neck silk blouses and opaque pantyhose. Of course, you can remove the jacket as you see fit. I've seen gals of this type don such attire - and never get clocked. 

Type C -
Heavy to slightly heavy gals than can remove body hair. Same rules as Type A - but you should select a low cut dress - ideally sleeveless. Most of you get far too hyper about your extra weight. Trust Renee: you'll look more feminine showing a bit of skin girlfriend. 

Type D -
Slim & smooth. If you are a D - you are very lucky. You can wear just about anything! However, since you can show so much more flesh with ease than your other sisters, you'll usually look most erotic in halter styled blouses and short skirts. 

more skin = more femme


One final tidbit I feel compelled to include...

Want to know how experienced tranny's
always spot a new girl in a crowded bar? Simple. Look for the gal with no skin on display. Their arms are always covered - as is her torso. 

Some guys have fairly bulky or muscular arms. In my opinion - this is one area we get
far too sensitive about hiding. There is a fundamental rule I've found true over time after looking at thousands of tranny's. 

The more skin you show - the more feminine you look. It's understandable to need hide very hairy arms. However, no feature is more tell-tale of a t-girl - than that covered look - from head to toe. At the very least - buy low cut dresses and cover your arms with a matching jacket. It's a great look.  

I know a lot of your are sensitive about wearing sleeveless items. However, I want you to trust me on this. If you can go sleeveless hair-wise - do it! It looks much more feminine than covered. Also, you'll find if you adjust how you position your arms at the side of your body - your biceps will look smaller. 

How does a crossdresser determine his size in ladies clothing?
Before you can start shopping with any possibility for success you’ll need to know your size in ladies clothing.

There’s also other issues: namely, the cut. Women’s fashions are cut specifically for various types of female bodies with allowance for expanded hip bones, larger buttocks, more narrow shoulders, breasts, etc.

First Off: Measure Yourself

You’ll need to create a detailed account of all your key body measurements - otherwise: you'll end up with lots of clothes that never fit right.

Take the time to pull out the old tape measure - and see where you fit in. Just remember - the bust is measured at your nipple line - and your waist is measured right above the belly button. ((hugs))

Before we get to all that…

If you're looking for other insider tips on crossdressing? These other free articles might provide what you're looking for:

Crossdressing Shopping and Fashion Tips
How to Get Past the Nervousness of Buying Women's Clothing
Crossdresser Size Conversion Charts
Tips for Trying on Women's Clothes in Stores
Important Shopping Rules for Crossdressers
Shopping On-Line for Women's Clothing
Crossdressing Fashion Secrets: Wardrobe Essentials for Crossdressers
Crossdressing Fashion Secrets
Crossdressing Fashion Supplies and Accessories


Women’s Shoe Sizes for Men
Fortunately, figuring out your equivalent female shoe size is a fairly simple process. Essentially your female size is two sizes large than your male number. Thus, if you wear a “size 10” male shoe? You’ll wear a twelve in ladies footwear.

However…We sometimes face issues with width as women’s feet are often more narrow than our own. With some designers? You’ll need a "wide" variation to achieve a comfortable fit.

Crossdressing: How to determine your size for women’s clothing

Women’s Sizes are much more complicated then mens

In comparison to women’s apparel, shopping for clothes as a guy is much easier. What’s the first mistake we often make when shopping for women’s apparel? Not knowing what size "department" we’re in - and being sure which one applies to us. In fact? Entire store brands are designed to primarily appeal to just one of these special size groups.

There are four core size groups within any women’s fashion retailers. These are cut and styled differently based upon the target market they serve. Its essential you learn these since you’ll run into them mixed together on clearance racks or at thrift stores - and you’ll need to know the big difference between an 11,12 & 12P - if you want to score affordable treasures.

The five major women's clothes size "categories" include:
  1. Juniors
  2. Misses
  3. Women’s
  4. Petites
  5. Small, Medium, Large, etc.

Juniors - The Junior's department for young teen girls. If you don’t see a department sign, you’ll know something you’re examining is from the “Junior’s Department” because the size label will be an odd number: 1,3,5,7,9,11 or 13. The larger the number? The larger the size of that clothing. Juniors clothing is cut differently - to reflect more narrow hips & less fully developed breasts & buttocks. While this mirrors the needs of some trans-women they’re also often not wide enough to accommodate our larger more muscular forms. The Juniors department is where a lot of transgender women find clothes they consider the most appealing. That’s not surprising since regardless of our chronological age - we’re often still young girls "at heart" when we start our journey. However, buying more than a few things from juniors often causes problems with our subsequent outfit since women can quickly spot styles sized and cut for young ladies and often consider them inappropriate for mature women to adorn.
Hip Scarves

There is one unique item I adore for trans-women you’ll
only find in Juniors departments or stores: hip coverings - that wrap around the waist and add bulk to the buttocks. They look like scarves at first glance - but they’re designed to wrap and tie around your waist. These are usually a nice touch for transgender ladies since we're naturally less "hippy" like our younger female counterparts.

Misses - Misses is the most common cut and size for mature women or any younger gals whose body has blossomed with appropriate curves following puberty. You’ll know your shopping in the “Misses Department” if the size labels include all even numbers: 0,2,4,6,8,10,12 - up to a 14. The larger the number? The larger the size of clothing.

Women’s - “Women’s” is the term used for what’s considered “plus” size in ladies clothes. They start at a 16 and continue higher in even number increments. Regardless of how slender they're underlying figure, a lot of trans-women have to start in the women’s department just because their sheer frame and rib cage is much larger than most born women.

Petites - Petites are the final core category. These are mature styles cut for smaller framed and shorter women. In other words? The arms and length will be shorter than Misses styles. Petites mirror the even numbered sizing system of Misses but garments will include a letter “P” following the numbered size.

Pronounced Sizes - There’s also the Small, Medium, Large & XL sizes plus the equivalent versions in the “women’s" department = including 1X, 2X, 3X & 4X.

It actually keeps going even further.

Lots of designers only produce for one of the major size categories - i.e.: Misses, petites.

There’s also sometimes
“tall” label - for some departments - a somewhat common need in our transgender community. For instance? Even though I’m only 5’8 - I buy tall inseam pants since I prefer wearing 3 1/2” heels with most my outfits. Clothing from the “talls” area usually include the letter “T” on the label.

Women’s Sizes and Actual Measurements
A little more complicated than shopping of guy clothes, huh?

Guess what?

It gets even worse when you examine the measurements attributed to the various numerical sizes I just shared. For men’s clothes? Measurement are spot-on to the actual size. Thus, a 16-32 short will have a sixteen inch neck and a thirty-two inch sleeve.

That used to be relatively achievable; e from women's sizes: but no longer.

The Advent of Vanity Sizing

There once was an agreed upon exact size for the numerical numbers associated with ladies clothing. However, beginning in the 1980’s - designers discovered that women would opt to buy one particular designer over another
just because it allowed them to fit into a much smaller numerical size.

Women take lots of pride in being able to fit into smaller clothes: it's a very emotional aspect of female shopping. This phenomenon resulted in the advent of what’s known as “Vanity Sizing” - which caused most designers to create previously larger-sized garments into smaller listed size numbers.

Standardization went out the window in that process meaning you almost have to be previously aware of the sizing aspects of a designer before knowing if a garment will fit or closely examine any accompanying garment measurements before making a purchase.

Is Renee a size 6? Sure she is. She has a few dresses that say she is. *Grin* Does all this sound ridiculous? It's not - really. Men fib about their golf scores & the fish that got away, It's only fitting - we'd acquire a couple of fresh white lies - as a girl.

Following is a somewhat standard size chart for women's
misses clothing.


Problems with Sizing Clothes for Transgender Women

Figured out female your sizes yet? Good - that will make your shopping a bit easier. However, you'll still face a few challenges in finding clothes that fit perfectly.

A few t-girls don't face these problems. Their bodies are built very much like women from the onset.  If you know such a tranny - you'll really come to hate her over the years. Don't feel bad about - we all hate them! 

Even though I'm only 5'8 - I'm still the prototypical t-girl...and I know lots of gals face my problems in finding great clothes. Here's but a few of the unique problems we face with sizing.   


Large Rib Cages - In general - our rib cages are not only larger than women - but they start flaring outward - at a lower position. This makes lots of dresses that fit perfectly otherwise...unwearable - damnit!

Fat Storage Problems - The human body is an amazing device. It stores fat as energy - when we let it. Unfortunately, men & women's bodies store fat in different places. Guys retain this extra energy at their waist - women in their hips & ass. Fashion designers know this - and cut female clothes accordingly. Thus, we're often cut-out of a great fit - long before that hot dress even gets shipped to your favorite retailer. 

Thicker Shoulders - It's bad enough we don't have breasts - and our rib cages are oversized - but why do our shoulders always have to be thicker than a female counterpart of a similar size? It's just not fair. ((hugs)) Lots of jackets will be overly snug in the shoulders and fit less than ideal.

Larger Hands -Men usually have larger hands than a comparable female. That's cool - we can add long nail tips to help extend our phalanges and lessen their oversized appearance. However - you'll discover certain blazers where you can't even get your hands through the sleeves. Can we never win?

Narrow Hips - Women's hips widen as they reach puberty as their bodies prepare for the ability to bear children.  Ours? They're naturally more narrow.

Oversized Feet - This one bothers me the most. I wear a size 10 as a guy - which means I shop a 12 in women's shoes. In case you've not already looked - most 12 styles - look like shoes your grandmother would hesitate to wear. You can find a decent number of fetish heels in larger sizes - but high-quality, large sized fashionable shoes at a decent price - are as rare as a DRAG Queen at an NRA talent show.

Larger Muscles - I've got fairly large and muscular calves. In a pair of 6" heels - they slim a bit and help my legs look pretty hot. I like that! Unfortunately, they also mean I can't even get my legs through a lot of women's pants that fit me otherwise. You might face this same challenge with your thighs, biceps - you know the drill. Consider your muscularity issues before any purchase.