ReneeReyes.com

Atlanta's Foremost Transgender Woman

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ReneeReyes.com

Atlanta's Foremost Transgender Woman

Just started crossdressing?

My free site provides everything you’ll need
To make your journey more fun

Crossdressing Tips for Beginning Crossdressers



Think you’ll never look like a sexy female?

Crossdresser Photo
Don’t feel bad, sweetie - you're not alone. I once had your same mindset. Few transgender girls went further - starting with less - than yours truly. I was once a non-passable, pudgy mutt.

Do you ever harbor transition fantasies: I often imagined getting breast augmentation or at very least - seeing some breast growth by taking female hormones.

I "lived" almost every conceivable aspect of transgender expression during my forty+ year transgender journey.

I've been a closeted crossdresser, wild and crazy club T-girl, DRAG Queen performer - and
finally: a full time transsexual woman.



Ever fantasize of changing from a gal that looks - like this?

Before After Crossdressser 01

To this?

Before After Shemale

Yep -
that’s me - in both photos!


I’m proud of where I came from and I’m forever dedicated to helping beginners and seasoned vets get the most from their trans experience. My website provides a comprehensive guide on how to get the most out of your crossdressing life. Additionally, if you someday think you might want further? I offer a detailed handbook about how to successfully
change genders as a TS.

The best part?

It's free!

Help for cross dressers just getting started

So you always dream about spending time as a woman, huh? Welcome to the club! Guess what? We're not alone. It's estimated approximately 5% of the world's male population shares our desire. Thus, we're not exactly uncommon. If you reached across the globe - that would be about 150 million men - or roughly all the men in America - if you got us all in one country.

Crossdressing

Now there's an idea...*Grin*

With the proliferation of the Internet? It's much easier to gather info on how to achieve your feminine goals. We can also meet understanding friends that can offer ideas on solving particular challenges we may face - and believe me: there's usually lots of questions early on..

In other words? It's
a perfect time to become the girl of your dreams!  

If you're looking for more specific info?
Follow one of these links at my website:

How to Crossdress
Crossdressing
Tips for Beginning Fetish Crossdressers
Crossdressing
Wig Selection, Care and Tips
Crossdressing Shopping and Fashion Guide
Tips for Taking Great Photos as a Crossdresser
Learning to Live Happily as a Part Time Trans-Woman
Tips for Wives and Girlfriends of Crossdressers
Sex and the Transgender Girl

Cross Dressing Tips: First Define your Goal as a Crossdresser

Like everything else in the world, knowing where you want to go from the onset? It'll get you there twice as fast and for a lot less cash.

Crossdressing can get Expensive

Going very far with your feminine persona takes time and lots more money than most new gals understand. Thus, I'd suggest you do a bit of homework first. You know what? It's not the items you acquire and love that you'll consider expensive. It's all that crap we you buy and never wear...that really burns you.
Crossdressing Tips

Take your time. Write down your plans. Search and read tips on the web. Get a feel for the feminine impression you desire to recreate. You'll be glad you first did this research before "jumping" into wasteful purchases.

Crossdressing for personal pleasure

Most newcomers express a feminine side of their personality by donning lingerie. It represents such a distinct representation of femininity. Don't you agree? I must admit I never truly felt feminine - till the silk would hit my skin. Of course, like most new trans-women - I sometimes fantasized about someday getting breast augmentation or at the very least - seeing breast growth from female hormones.
Marilyn Monroe Cosplay


Many of you've probably been doing this in some manner for many years: starting by borrowing hose and panties from "dear old mom", testing silky items of an unsuspecting spouse or girlfriend. That's how I started. My poor mother and sister had no idea where all those pantyhose went.  

If some private feminine sensation is your goal? I'd suggest purchasing the following basic inventory to enhance your pleasure. With these items in hand, browse the next sections about shopping and feminizing. Acquire the basic make-up and clothing size information you'll need...and go have some fun, sweetheart.
Crossdressing

One additional point to consider? Some girls just getting started tend to bypass the application of any make up or painting nails and toes. Trust me: this is a capital mistake. Running your hands over you're stocking covered thighs is a killer experience. However, doing it with bright red fingertips? Trust me...it'll add a lot of pleasure. You don't have to be an expert - just enjoy the basics. It all comes off so quick and easy. Try it...you'll like it.

Sample Inventory For First Time Crossdressers



    Here's an early picture of me when I knew little about make up, and in a "get up" like I've just described:  

    D-Ren-56-a


    *Garter Belt: Garter belts come in all shapes and sizes. If you've got some extra weight in your tummy, I'd suggest getting a larger one that has "lace up" adjustments to enhance your figure. Frederick's of Hollywood carries a nice one for about $35.00.

    **Bra: Measure your chest with a cloth tape around your nipples - this is your bra size. If it measures to an odd number, move "up" to the nearest even number. Then, I'd suggest you drop it down a size to help enhance the look of your cleavage. Thus, if your chest measures thirty seven inches, you would normally wear a thirty eight inch bra - but I want you to buy a thirty-six to help push your chest skin together to mimic cleavage. Your cup size (A,B,C, etc.) will be negligible to start with but hey...that's why God created socks


    Finding more pleasure from your private crossdressing
    Develop an on-line existence

    Its one thing to scour the web for images of other transgender women. Alas, its much more fun to actually join the party.

    Not only is the internet a wealth of information for tips - it's also an incredible resource to meet other crossdressers and trans girls.

    There's always Craigslist for local connections - but sites like
    URNOTALONE - offer an easy opportunity to expand your image and make friends nationally.


    Get Rid of your “shame” from Crossdressing
    When most men were boys, they felt shameful after having privately masturbated. Alas, anything that feels that good must be wrong, no? LOL

    I crafted a detailed set of tips about
    losing the shame and better enjoying your crossdressing experience here!

    For many of us, the most challenging aspect of cross dressing isn’t learning how to appear feminine. Rather, it’s not feeling badly about ourselves over this in-born need we all share.

    TS Dating

    One of my most known attributes in the trans-community is that I never “out” anyone about they're dressing - even if they piss me off. Everybody knows this abut me & because of that fact, I’ve had an abnormal number of high-profile persona's share the fact that they privately dress when able.

    The reason I share this with you is to remind you that you’re not alone.

    This desire is far more common than most realize - from the White House to Wall Street - it’s happening every day all around you. The only ugly aspect of transgender expression is that web live in a world where people have to fear persecution for simply “being themselves”.

    Don't be ashamed of who and what you are: hold your head high, smile - and just enjoy the journey. At the end of the day? That's the key to happiness no matter what you face.

    How to Get Past the Fear of Buying Women’s Clothing as a Man

    Some cross dressers are not remotely shy shopping for their female wardrobe. They don’t hesitate to let the clerk know the clothes are for them.

    Most retailers in today’s more enlightened understanding of transgender issues train their associates to be sensitive to cross dressers and transgender women. However, you’ll still occasionally encounter retail clerks whose personal convictions run polar.
    Crossdresser Shopping

    I was never one of those very confident cross dressers since I was scared and nervous when I first started shopping for my female garb. In fact, I often felt everyone was wondering why I was intently browsing women's apparel. This was my imagination of course - but it felt real to me. If you're a bit shy - or new to the femme game - you might experience similar trepidation.

    I developed a "crutch" that helped me get past this initial fear. I'd carry a list in my hand and appear slightly frustrated - like a man on a mission for his wife which he really didn't want to be on in the first place. If you are nervous about shopping for women's clothes? Make your list, carry it with you, appear slightly agitated, keep staring at the list as you're browsing for
    her sizes - and you'll fit right in!
    Crossdress Shopping Tips

    A lot of gals always have a tough time with this. Don't feel lonely. Up until the time I transitioned, I still had moments where I walked away from potential purchases because my psyche wasn’t up for what I perceived as a potential hassle. This is always wrong - it was just my feeble male ego running for cover. 

    Retail stores and their associates don't necessarily want to understand why a man is buying a skirt - but they need our commerce. When you  make a new purchase for her? You are doing exactly what the store intended for you to do. 


    Crossdressing Fashion Secrets

    Fashion. Sound intimidating?

    Do you know the
    real difference between men and women - when it comes to the concept of fashion?

    Every tranny understands this - even better than most women. It shows up each time they shop. Men - go out and
    buy. They rarely just "shop". Why not? Because - for men - clothes are simply a mechanism for looking good.

    FashionChange


    For women (and us tranny's) - clothes are part of a process - where a dream is brought to life.  For lots of trans women, donning a particular ensembles is like stepping out into a fantasized world. With just a change of fashion she can go from being a dominant bitch - to a submissive school girl - all with a slight change in fashion. Extreme examples: but vivid nonetheless.

    This is exactly what fashion designers do for a living. When a top designer pens a new dress or jacket - their first project is to decide who they will make the woman feel like and "become" when she dons it. They reach back into history: trying to recreate the essence of Marlene Dietrich or Marilynn Monroe. The role of the designer is to tap into - and release - the secret aspirations that women harbor deep within their psyche. It is in this manner that fashionable outfits are "transporting". 

    What is that? 

    Think of it this way - when you shop for clothes - you envision yourself - looking like the dream in the catalog - creating the same sort of lustful awareness you might experience viewing the ensemble offered for purchase.

    Lots of trans women start their fashion journey through lingerie. Simply stated: it turns them on. In reality - it takes their soul to a female place. By simply donning silky panties or hose - they get to visit their female dreams.
    This experience - is the role of fashion plays in society.

    See. I told you that you already knew fashion, didn't I?

    So what is fashion? Simple. It's the creation of a dream - through clothing & accessories. 

    take inventory

    crossdress

    What's the first thing we need to do? Take inventory. 

    We all start with certain God-given features that will help in transformation. If you're like many beginning t-girls - you're looking in the mirror and saying - Renee, all I see are female liabilities. Trust me, baby - that's not the case. ((hugs))

    It could be your cheeks, your behind, your lips, your hands - something - but you've got some great assets to build off of. We want to flaunt those - when we get to the final phases of this transformation. We'll bury the rest so deep - even a grave robber couldn't dig 'em up. *Smile*

    Sadly, a number of my feminine features are less than ideal. My skull is large - compared to the rest of my body, I'm very long waisted - which means I look exceedingly male - in anything but the highest of heels. If you can - get another gals opinion during this process. Why? Because we tend to be harder on ourselves - than we should be. 

    Also, we often fail to recognize certain feminine strengths we possess. A good example? When I first started going out - I did everything I could to hide my muscular calves. As luck would have it - I lovely lady pointed this out as one of my better features - and how to accentuate it. Try - to get some additional "advice". 

    Renee's Inventory

    As much as I hate doing it - I'm going to discuss a few of my female challenges - to get your mind thinking more clearly - in this regard. Likewise - I'll discuss a couple of my femme strengths - as rare as they are. *Laugh* Finally, I'll review items that I consider good & bad - depending upon - how I present them. 

    The Bad

    Skull & Chin
    - Relative to the rest of my body - I've got a large cranium. We're not talking water head proportions - but it's a distant cousin. *Laugh* The size of my skull is aggravated by a prototypical male chin. This pair of attributes is always a challenge for me.
    Calves

    Facial Skin Quality
    - Like most men - I failed to properly care for my skin earlier in life. A pair of shattered football facemasks - didn't help this situation. Facial hair & loads of testosterone seal my fate...my skin "sucks"! *Laugh*

    The Good

    Eyes
    - My eyes are deep blue. I was born with a femme arch at my eye brows which one plastic surgeon described as a $25,000 gift from God. *Laugh*.

    Height & Weight
    - At 5'9 & 145 lb - I've got a frame that's relatively female-sized.

    The Good & Bad


    The most common traits we tend to have - are those which I'd define as good & bad. Specifically, these traits look good - when properly presented - and not so good otherwise.

    No Hips - No Ass
    . A perfect female body is shaped like a hour glass - where the hips are roughly the same width as the shoulders. Sadly, I'm like most -girls...my shoulders are significantly wider than my hips. Ideally, Shoulder width = hip width. In skimpier outfits...this can be a friend.

    My large calves
    - I have the sort of muscles in my calves many body builders would die to possess. When I'm standing flat footed - this looks pretty male. In heels - it can look fairly femme - and hot.

    I'm very long-waisted
    - Do you know what long-waisted is? It's when your mid section is disproportionately longer than your legs. The way around this is either donning high-waisted pants or skirts (to reduce the length of my waist) - or wearing an outfit which shows a bit of leg (increasing the appearance of my leg length).

    What traits can we change?

    Certain traits can change over time. We can lose weight, improve our daily skin regimen to develop a more smooth face. You can even get various types of cosmetic surgery to improve or hide certain flaws.

    You should be careful in quantifying your happiness by these changes. Sadly, I did that once too often - early on. An error I made was emotionally penalizing myself when I failed to achieve a certain goal in a specified time frame. I'd berate myself. I'd become angered - and pass on attending a femme function because I felt overweight. This - is always wrong. It's healthy to reward yourself for the accomplishment of key benchmarks. However, penalties are not optimal. 

    Life - is not about - looking lovely as a female. It's about being happy. Happiness comes from participating in activities you enjoy and spending time with like-minded friends...exactly what conditionalized prerequisites on your appearance take away from you - if you're not careful.

    Invest the time and energy in improving those traits that you might enjoy seeing more femme. Reward yourself for a job well done. But never - stop having fun in the process of getting there. The trip along the way - is chocked full of the best experiences life can offer. **kiss**

    Find a physical mentor

    Ever seen another t-girl and said to yourself...I want to look like that? 

    Me too! *Smile*

    Trouble is - we often select role models with features very different from our own. Do me this favor. Start looking at other t-girls less as eye candy - and more - as physical role models. Start seeking out images of sisters that have features - a lot like your own. 

    This - helped me a great deal. I quit trying to duplicate some bitch in the Victoria's Secret catalog - and focused on patterning myself after gals that had many of my same strengths - and flaws. You'd be amazed what you can learn. I even noted what I felt did not - look good on them.

    Copying - is the most common success element in fashion.

    Fashion & fitting

    I've already mentioned our bodies are different from women's. Perhaps you've noticed it too! *Smile* This has pro's and con's when it comes to buying and wearing women's clothing. 

    In general you'll find our rib cages to be larger than a female of our same height & weight - and our hips more narrow. The result? We are built sort of like an upside down female - and their clothes often fit us a little backwards. Because of these variations in fitting I will reiterate how important a return policy - is to your success in acquiring items you look great wearing. 

    Using lines to your advantage
    Hips


    Most of us t-girls are shaped like an inverted female. Inverted? You got it - our shoulders are usually wider than our hips. Thus, a goal with our fashion becomes reversing the appearance Mother Nature gave us - through our clothing.
    Vertical01a


    The outfit you see in photo 1 is a lot more planned regarding besting these challenges than you'd first think. Notice the jacket - I left it unbuttoned. Why? Because I want your eyes to focus on the vertical illusion - not the width of my shoulders. 

    Take a look at the skirt. It has a tailored flare to accentuate wider hips - I wasn't born with. Finally, the boots cover my large calves - and enhance the vertical lines of the look. 

    Now take a look at the photo labeled number 2. I've turned sideways only seconds after photo 1 was taken. My shoulders got bigger - didn't they? *Smile* I lost the advantage of the vertical illusion from my open jacket. Imagine if I wore that jacket buttoned up - I'd look like a linebacker. 
    Vertical02a


    As a general rule, you'll want to select upper garments that enhance vertical lines (open jackets, deep cut halter tops - even long necklaces). 

    Your middle garments should focus on presenting a more horizontal appearance. (horizontal stripes, flared skirts, etc.) 

    Try playing with the lines of your body to enhance your feminine form. 

    You'll be amazed how fashion and clothing styles can assist you in presenting a more feminine look without the addition of body padding. 

    Altering the situation

    Regardless of initial fit, even the perfect dress or skirt will usually require slight adjustments to look perfect. Women often get clothes altered to look their best. Outside of hemming pants, men are not typically accustomed to doctoring clothes to get the right fit.

    Do you think Cindy Crawford really fits like a glove in that hot Versace dress on the cover of Cosmo? Not hardly. The photo on the left is an an example of what you don't see in the glamour ads. Getting clothes to look their best on your body almost always involves some form of alteration. On your finest outfits - it's worth the investment.

    alterfit


    Nervous about taking your dress to be altered? Don't be. For simple alterations - such as reducing the length of a skirt or adding a much higher slit - you can simply mark it yourself. When you drop it off for your spouse or girlfriend - you can go over in much greater detail all the things she told you to get done. Know what else? That little lie - is almost the truth. Your girl friend -
    did send you. *Smile*

    cutjeans


    If your alteration requires extensive on-site measurements - and you are shy about it - find a vendor catering to the gay community. Gays are often not up on the latest leanings of the transgender community - but they do know DRAG. If you'll call them in advance and tell them you do an occasional DRAG performance - they'll be more than happy to have you come in and get altered to your heart's content.

    One of my standard alterations is cutting the shoulder pads out from any jacket or blouse. Manufacturers include this padding to help women achieve a look we typically already possess - broad shoulders / narrower hips. Keeping them often gives you that linebacker look - which is less than ideal unless you make your living playing football on Sundays. Remember, we want to look like the cheerleaders on the sidelines -
    not the bruisers on the astroturf! ::))

    Take the time to study women's fashions that are applicable to your size and shape. Remember, women's clothing and accessories are designed to hide flaws - or accentuate strengths. Do you have great legs? Then make them the focal point by wearing a short skirt. Do you have narrow hips? Then show them off in a slim fitting dress. Or better yet, wear a zebra patterned skirt with horizontal stripes - to provide the illusion your hips are wider and more feminine. Study yourself, study fashion, study how lines & flow are used to sculpt your appearance. 

    Most of all, study women you see and admire. You'll learn a lot!!

    Clothes that work

    Certain types of clothes just seem to work better for us than others. To select the right clothing you first have to take a quick inventory of what you can - and cannot - show. For example: if you have a hairy chest and cannot shave it - low cut items are off your list. If you have hairy arms and can't bleach or trim them - you will likely want to stay away from sleeveless items.

    Following is a breakdown of the basic type of t-girls I see most often - and the associated styles of clothing they seem too look best wearing. Remember: this is a general guideline - not a rule book. 

    C-Girl


    The two most limiting parameters are your height / weight proportion - and your ability to shave hair from certain (or all) portions of your body. I'm ignoring height as a factor since it limits mostly passability and clothing selection - not clothing style. 

    Type A -
    The Prototypical t-girl - a bit (or more) too much belly, not enough everywhere else she would like it, can't shave hair. Type A gals tend to look most feminine in a slim fitting high neck dress with a waist cinching corset underneath - and perhaps some hip padding added to the sides. The key for these sisters too look their best is in the presentation of "curves". 

    Most gals in this category feel they could never look feminine and are sooooooooo wrong. Haven't you ever heard of voluptuous girl friend? With a little help from a corset or waist cincher - you'll look like 90% of the women in the world - and with make up expertise - you can look better than 90% of that group. *Smile*   
    TypeB


    Type B -
    Slender gals who can't shave any body hair. These girls look very feminine in slim fitting business suits with high neck silk blouses and opaque pantyhose. Of course, you can remove the jacket as you see fit. I've seen gals of this type don such attire - and never get clocked. 

    Type C -
    Heavy to slightly heavy gals than can remove body hair. Same rules as Type A - but you should select a low cut dress - ideally sleeveless. Most of you get far too hyper about your extra weight. Trust Renee: you'll look more feminine showing a bit of skin girlfriend. 

    Type D -
    Slim & smooth. If you are a D - you are very lucky. You can wear just about anything! However, since you can show so much more flesh with ease than your other sisters, you'll usually look most erotic in halter styled blouses and short skirts. 

    More skin = more femme

    Skin


    One final tidbit I feel compelled to include...

    Want to know how experienced tranny's
    always spot a new girl in a crowded bar? Simple. Look for the gal with no skin on display. Their arms are always covered - as is her torso. 

    Some guys have fairly bulky or muscular arms. In my opinion - this is one area we get
    far too sensitive about hiding. There is a fundamental rule I've found true over time after looking at thousands of tranny's. 

    The more skin you show - the more feminine you look. It's understandable to need hide very hairy arms. However, no feature is more tell-tale of a t-girl - than that covered look - from head to toe. At the very least - buy low cut dresses and cover your arms with a matching jacket. It's a great look.  

    I know a lot of your are sensitive about wearing sleeveless items. However, I want you to trust me on this. If you can go sleeveless hair-wise - do it! It looks much more feminine than covered. Also, you'll find if you adjust how you position your arms at the side of your body - your biceps will look smaller. 


    Fashion Mistakes of Girls That DON'T Pass in Public

    By far, the most common mistake of new trans women is adorning inappropriate styles and fashion.

    What’s appropriate?

    Great question!

    It’s not so easily discerned since it depends upon your age, what your body looks like,
    where you’re going, and what is the time of year / season. Born-girls learn this from their mom’s with that dreaded: “you’re not leaving the house wearing that”. We get left to learn without mom’s stern guidance.

    A common challenge many new trans-women must overcome - and the one I most struggled - is embracing not every outfit has to
    kill it.
    Too Much Leg

    Inappropriate fashion screams trans like nothing else you could say or do. It also creates barriers to communication with women and sometimes creates unneeded attention from men. I’ve seen more than one trans woman wrongly deduce what she thought was social prejudice - when it was actually just typical female negative reaction to inappropriate fashion.


    My most common fashion faux pas’s early-on included:

    1. Too Sexy

    Notoriously, I opted for showing too much skin early on. At a wild club or Cosplay event? That’s fine and appropriate. However, in traditional social gatherings? I was forced to adapt more conservative fashion.
    Nightclub Only


    Most of us spent years dreaming of finally wearing those adorable little outfits in fashion catalogs every day we pleased. When we finally got that chance after going full-time? It’s only natural we would first be drawn to stimulating looks.

    From a woman’s standpoint: there’s a monumental divide between dressing sexy - and looking erotic. As men? We often didn’t distinguish those lines. However, that divide is
    very real.

    Too much skin
    Too Much Skin 1

    A short skirt with a nice blazer can be fine: but if I add a cleavage shot to that fashion equation? I’m crossing another line that’s only appropriate for a dark nightclub.

    How hot - is
    too hot?

    Good question.

    My new rule of thumb?

    If someone can look
    across the room and say my dress is hot & sexy? I probably went too far. If they only recognize that aspect when close-up? It’s probably fine.
    Over 40 Short Skirt


    2. Age Inappropriate

    Without a doubt the most common mistake made by new trans-women – even some long time post-operative females – is adorning “age inappropriate” fashion.

    We’re not the only ones that make this mistake. Natal females get tagged for it often, as well. However, we tend to do it more often and play a role in getting us
    read in public. It will also tend to turn-off potential new born-women friends.

    If you’re often shopping in “Juniors” styles as I once was while in my 40’s - that’s the first part of the mistake. In fact: looking through Juniors styles is a great way to learn what
    not to wear.

    This screams inappropriate which in turn spells: “Tranny”.

    3. Body and Season Inappropriate

    It took me a long time to learn all the aspects of seasonality when it came to women’s clothes. Get it wrong? Women start staring in a hurry.
    Event Appropriate


    However, my biggest challenge was wearing outfits or dresses that were
    too tight.

    The rule of thumb?

    If you wear something considered tight - you need to match it with a loose-fitting garment. Thus, if you adorn a tight pair of pants - you should pair them with a loose fitting tunic blouse

    4. Event Inappropriate Fashion

    I might have waited two years to finally get a chance to wear my killer new formal gown but if I decide to share it - at an event designed for cocktail dresses? I stand out like a prom queen at a biker bar.
    Urban Runway Look


    Always ask your hostess what the style is before any event. Even better? Ask your best girlfriends what they are wearing!


    5. Inappropriate Hair and Make Up

    Appropriateness or lack thereof isn’t limited to clothes and accessories - it also includes hair and make up. Wearing bedroom eyes at the grocery store combined with some killer cleavage on display can and will get you lots of attention. However, it will also get you
    read and create a fervor with every natural woman you encounter.

    Go easy on the hair extension, hair spray, eyes shadow, blush and full lips for daily activities. The problem with hunting small game with big loads? There’s nothing left to eat even if you kill it.

    Wearing too much make up
    No Make UP

    One of the first big challenges after going full-time is getting comfortable leaving the house with little or no cosmetics. Also, there’s the liquid eyeliner and fake lashes. Conversely, I’ve seen girls too lazy in this regard. The sweet spot is some place between these extremes: a touch of foundation, some mascara, hair pulled up in a clip, a visor - develop a very quick but cute “go to”.